


Jagged Pieces

by DrBlueneck



Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Minato, BAMF Naruto, F/M, Female Uzumaki Naruto, Friendship, Genderswap, Kinda AU, Minato is darker than in canon, No character bashing, Pregnant Naruto, Romance, Time Travel, incest MinaNaru, will add characters as we go on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-05-18 15:59:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5934313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrBlueneck/pseuds/DrBlueneck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On his way back from a mission, Minato gets ambushed and suffers injuries before being rescued by a mysterious blond. Meanwhile, Naruto gets blasted into the past and tries to save the day (and subsequently, the world), not understanding why Minato seems so taken with her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>(Or in which a pregnant Naruto is a victim of time travel, and Minato just wanna be her baby's daddy.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Edge of Precipice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3223730) by [amethyst_ice22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amethyst_ice22/pseuds/amethyst_ice22). 



> Disclaimer: I don’t own and don’t want Naruto. I just like to play with the characters and make ‘em my bitches.  
> I’ve been kind of sucked up in the wonderful world that is time travel in the Naruto universe, and don’t get me started on my addiction to the MinaNaru pairing. Combined with my guilty pleasure, the Fem!Naru, let’s say that I’m in fucking cloud nine. I wanted to play around a bit with them, and got inspired by the story Edge of the Precipice.
> 
> You can also find this story on fanfiction.net

The mission had been a success, as Minato expected. It was not arrogance speaking for him, just the stats and facts, and the confidence he had in his skills. He’d been prepared after all, as all good shinobi should be. He’d read his mission more than twenty times, and was even able to recite it by heart. He knew what he had to do, calculated the failure percentage as well as the risks and deducted that this should be a walk in the park for an ANBU of his calibre. Again, the figures were speaking, not his arrogance.

However, Minato wasn’t yet a seer, and so couldn’t have foreseen the unknown variable that were missing-nins crossing his path.

Usually, it wouldn’t have been such a problem if Minato had his team with him, or if the missing-nins were two or three – or at least Chuunin-level only.

And of course, he had to go and jinx himself and stumble upon a group of five, ranging from high-Chuunin to Jounin. Minato could boast all he wanted about his skills and ANBU rank, it didn’t mean he couldn’t see when he was screwed – or at the very least, in a _complicated_ situation. And whoever thought he was downplaying it… Well, they should just shut up and let him worry about his own ass.

He’d been fighting the five of them all at once for a good ten minutes now, foregoing lethal grace for raw strength in the thin hope of being able to create an opening to escape. Unfortunately, the brawny missing-nins were working as a well-oiled unit, meeting him punch for punch and even drawing first blood. It didn’t help that Minato was already spent from his mission and wanted to save his chakra for his escape or to summon a battle toad.

As he was pushed to his last resorts, preparing to unleash one or two rasengan, a huge burst of burning chakra exploded only a few hundred yards from the fighting shinobi – such a gigantic burst that the reddish chakra became visible and almost blinded Minato.

The energy tide washed over them and Minato could feel a wave of it travelling through his coils, sending his already swaying body to the ground in a harsh thump. His limbs were shaking uncontrollably, as if the chakra was too much for his system to handle and if the anguished screams of his enemies were to be believed, he wasn’t the only one suffering from this.

The screams slowly died after what could’ve been minutes or hours, and in the now deadly silence, unsteady steps could be heard, gravels crunching under the feet. Minato struggled to not lose consciousness, trying his hardest to roll onto his back or pull his head up, but his body wasn’t responding. Two sandaled feet stopped in his blurry vision field, and before he could say anything or react, darkness finally claimed him, leaving Minato to think that fuck, _maybe_ it was arrogance speaking all along.

 

 

When he regained consciousness, body pressed against a soft mattress, Minato fought back the instinct to tense and focused on regulating his breathing, opening up his senses to his surroundings. As he couldn’t sense anyone nearby, Minato cautiously opened his eyes, biting back a startled scream as he was met by a face so close to his that their nose were almost touching.

His hand automatically slid to his thigh, closing around nothing, and the woman, from what he could see, straightened up with a frown etched on her tan face. “Really? Trying to reach for a kunai to assault the one who saved you?”

Judgement was dripping thickly from her high voice, but Minato couldn’t bring himself to feel sheepish when disarmed and in the presence of someone he apparently couldn’t sense. He took an instant to study her, probing for weaknesses, and strangely came up with nothing. She wasn’t small, nor was she tall, and her blond hair – darker than his own – were swept into a lazy bun, loose bangs framing her roundish face and dark blue eyes. Maybe she was from Kumo – her colouring pointed that much, and if that was the case, than Minato was in trouble. Kumo wasn’t too fond of him, and it was mutual.

She held herself like a ninja, sandaled feet planted firmly on the floor and slightly parted to better brace herself if needed. Her arms, previously crossed haughtily on her chest, were now hanging at her sides, one hand hovering where a holster should be, the other slightly curled as if preparing to punch something. But apart from that, she looked calm and was clothed like a civilian.

“Where am I?” he decided to ask, not really expecting an answer but trying to distract her in the hope of maybe finding a way to incapacitate the stranger.

She smirked, as if reading his thoughts, and sat in the chair besides the bed. It looked like she’s been watching over him for a long time, judging by the folded blanket on the armrest and the scrolls littering the little bedtable.

“My home. I found you on my way back from a long trip… Your little friends must’ve been angry with you, if your wounds are to be trusted.”

“And you saved me.”

It wasn’t really a question, yet she nodded and replied, “Indeed. You looked like you needed some help, after all.”

Besides the taunt, she didn’t say anything else about how exactly she saved him from the other ninjas, and Minato knew when not to push. Instead, he slightly bowed his head, eyes locked onto hers. “Then thank you for the help, kunoichi-san.”

“You’re welcome, Namikaze-san.”

And with that, all the tension came back in his body. Steely blue eyes glared at the woman, and despite the protest of his weakened body, he sat up, not wanting to appear too vulnerable. The logical part of his mind knew that if she wanted to kill him, she would’ve done so while he was unconscious. But the ninja side of him said ‘screw it’ and went on high alert.

“You have me at a disadvantage, it would seem, kunoichi-san,” he said coolly.

“Aah, not really my fault if you’re dangerous enough for your name to be plastered into every Bingo Books,” she playfully retorted, but her eyes were equally steely even though her body was relaxed, proving that she had no intention to attack him.

But as Minato kept his guarded expression, his body locked in a ‘fight or flight’ stance, her smile dimmed a little and she sighed, rubbing a hand on her neck – in annoyance or awkwardness, he couldn’t tell.

“If it’ll put you at ease, I can tell you that I’m not after your bounty. And the name’s Naruto. See? Now we’re even.”

_Not really_ , Minato wanted to drawl. He didn’t know anything about her affiliation or her strength, whereas she certainly knew enough about the ninja to blackmail him or Konoha. Minato wanted to say all that, to grill her a bit more on her intentions – why would she intervene in a fight that wasn’t her own? Why did she bring him in her den? Why wasn’t she more suspicious of him? – but he could feel his eyes drooping and his shoulders slumping, strength slowly leaving him. He tried resisting the darkness that was trying to pull him to sleep, and Naruto saw it and gently pushed him to lay back against the comfy bed despite his weak protests.

“You’re still not completely healed from your fight, nor the chakra blast. Sorry about that, by the way,” the woman whispered, but the words were all muddled to his ears and he stared incomprehensibly, finally succumbing to sleep.

His last thought was that at least, his pseudo nurse wasn’t trying to grope him like the ones did back home.

 


	2. Chapter 2

To be frank, Naruto wasn’t expecting such a bad result in her jutsu.

Well, if being – from what she knew – the first ninja to travel through time should be considered a bad result. She supposed it was a great feat in itself, and she would’ve been overcome with joy if it had actually been her plan to begin with. The problem was––Naruto just wanted to imitate the Hiraishin to help Konoha, should a war ever erupt again. It was a bastardised version of her father’s, as there was no notes left on the making process, but she _really_ thought she had succeeded in breaking the code.

Maybe arrogance was a family trait, because _who_ but an Uzumaki could manage to unravel the secrets of a jutsu made from seals to begin with? Fuuinjutsu basically ran through her blood, dammit!

Perhaps Naruto should’ve thought about the consequences of testing a newly made jutsu more carefully, but she had never been known for her patience, and no one was there anymore to tell her to be more cautious when it came to playing with dangerous techniques.

Pain rung sharply in her bones at that. Many of her friends had died during the war, and even though Konoha had rebuilt herself pretty well over the last couple of months, Naruto could still feel the loss.

 Tsunade-baa-chan might never wake up, and Sakura was still MIA (When lying in bed at night, feeling empty and lonely, Naruto wondered sometimes if her dear friend was running after the always fleeing Sasuke, or lying dead somewhere, her rotting corpse waiting to be returned to the village. It was a nauseating thought, and as more time passed, it transformed into a deep rooted belief that left Naruto cold and weary). Shikamaru hadn’t even had time to properly mourn his father that he had to take on the Nara mantel and be a pillar for his two grieving teammates (Poor Ino was being groomed to become the new Head of her clan, and had to live with the knowledge that her former best friend may never stand by her sides again. She at first resented Shikamaru for having been able to hear his father before he died, using her own father’s technique. And she came to pity him, because his last words weren’t for his son, but the ninja world, and Ino was too selfish to accept that kind of decisions. The sensitive Chouji made a habit of hiding to cry his sorrow away, because as the new leader of the Akimichi, he had to ‘present a strong face’. He didn’t want the title, not like this, but took it anyway, knowing the Nara and the Yamanaka would always stand with him.) Lee would surely be stuck in a wheelchair till the end of his days, and Tenten was the only member of her team left standing, worrying about her maimed sensei and teammate (Lee would always plaster a big smile on his face, assuring her that everything would be fine, but Tenten wasn’t stupid, she saw the winces and the dark gleam in his eyes. She knew his carrier would stop there, and she knew their team won’t ever be like before, not with a member dead and the two others injured beyond repair). Hinata was thinking about leaving the ninja ranks, Neji’s death still weighing heavily on her mind (“I don’t know if I can continue to fight… I just wanted to be recognised, to make my father and my clan proud. But now… It feels all futile. I’m tired,” Hinata had smiled with teary eyes. “I just want to live and honour Neji’s memory.”), and Kiba had grown jaded despite his crooked grin, finding for once true solace in the company of his ever silent teammate (Akamaru had been a young dog, in his prime years, really. Kiba didn’t feel like getting a new one, even though Inuzukas were known to fight with their loyal dogs, and it wasn’t unheard of for an Inuzuka to take on a new one when needed. Shino’s chakra coils had been too damaged to be healed, and thus lost his insects. He hadn’t spoken much since the realisation that his first friends were forever gone, and that he won’t ever have them again. He felt naked and empty).

And then… There was Kakashi. Just thinking about him hurt, because he was Naruto’s personal failure, died protecting her… They had been close, these last few years, a true friendship blooming between them. They understood each other better than they would’ve thought. She could still remember his hands roaming on her naked flesh, on that first and last night they had together before going onto the battlefield. Her skin still tingled from the phantom touch – foreign and so familiar at the same time, broad bare hands settling gently on her curves – never taking, always giving. They hadn’t been in love – they were both too broken for that kind of things. Just two lost souls seeking warmth in each other’s embrace – seeking comfort after their last teammate never returned to camp.

Naruto knew that if she’d been quicker, stronger, than her sensei would’ve never met his death so soon. Hence her attempt at reviving the Hiraishin. And why she was now lying at the bottom of a crater large enough to be a cosy nest for the Kyuubi.

Naruto stared at the baby blue sky for a long minute, thin white clouds spiralling around the clearing she single-handedly created out of nowhere. Stunned, she pulled herself out of the hole, trying absentmindedly to get in touch with Kurama, but she couldn’t feel anything. Either the fox was drained and needed his beauty sleep, or he wasn’t there anymore. She avoided thinking about the second hypothesis, too shaken at the moment to consider the possibility that she was well and truly alone in this new adventure.

A quick scan of her surrounding through chakra nature told her that she wasn’t the only human being in the area, and it’s on unsteady feet that she walked to the few chakra signatures she felt, hoping to get a few answers on the era she was dropped in.

No need to say she almost choked on her tongue when she realised that the bloody, passed out ninja lying in front of her was actually her father. As in, _young_. And _alive_.

She didn’t know how many minutes she spent silently freaking out about the meaning of this information – was the Third War still on-going? Had it already happened, actually? How the fuck was she supposed to keep her cool if confronted with both her parents?! – and acted on autopilot as she disposed of the already half-dead missing-nins before lifting Minato’s body on her back, biting back a grunt. Despite his narrow frame, he obviously was packing more muscles than she expected, and Naruto was still weakened from her impromptu time travel. She let out a hysterical giggle at the thought. _Shit_ , she wasn’t dreaming, this was actually true.

Lifting Minato a bit higher and speeding towards the nearest village she could sense, she gulped back panicked tears and screams. She really didn’t want to go through another war so soon after finishing her own, but she also couldn’t _not_ interfere, what with the knowledge she held.

It took her a few hours to find a place secluded enough, at the border of a peaceful, sleepy village. She wasn’t even sure if she was still in the Land of Fire, but the smell of flowers had kept coming and going while she ran, and it soothed her (if she closed her eyes, she could imagine walking in the busy main street of Konoha, where the Yamanaka shop was located, their flowers artfully displayed outside the entrance, the heady perfume drifting in the air).

She was lucky to find an abandoned cabin that might have belonged to a forest ranger once upon a time, and decided to make it her base for the time being. Carefully setting Minato on the dusty floor – she felt a twinge of guilt before shrugging it off, he was after all a ninja, a few hours spent on a hard floor wouldn’t kill him – she went out to the village and bought a few things she would need to start her new life. Luckily, Naruto hadn’t lost her belongings during the travel, and even though she wasn’t rich, she had enough to survive for a while.

Her chakra was slowly regulating, and she felt confident enough to use a few shadow clones to help her in making a home out of the cabin. It took a lot of time and curses, but after a while, a bed was set in a corner, and she laid Minato onto it after checking his vitals – steady, but still weak.

The first day he was out, she didn’t give it too much thoughts, too busy trying to meditate and get in touch with her demon, only meeting some kind of lock pushing her gently out of her mindscape. She also took this time to sleep herself, only now feeling the backlash of all the chakra used to perform her faulty jutsu.

The second day, she went through all her scrolls, trying to understand where she went wrong in her pseudo Hiraishin, but not finding any good answer. Maybe it had to do with her own peculiar chakra – she couldn’t remember if she used the Kyuubi’s too, and Naruto had always been fond of draining chakra techniques. Perhaps she overloaded the seal, and as a consequence, the ‘time’ stamp took priority over the ‘space’ one. Frustrated, she gave up on finding the solution to her enigma – she was never the smart one, always relying more on gut feelings than sound logic.

The third day was passed looking at the still sleeping Minato, worry slowly gnawing at her. He should’ve woken up already, his injuries were not life threatening after all. It might have something to do with her demonic chakra, his coils were obviously not used to the raw energy, contrary to hers, but still – Naruto was growing crazy, alone with her turmoil, deep in the woods. The more Minato slept, the longer she had to actually process how deep in shit she was.

It was as she stared owlishly at him, nose practically mashed against his, trying to telepathically induce his waking, that he opened his eyes. She was as surprised as him, but managed to hide it better behind a slight smirk, not at all feeling as confident as she broadcast.

It wasn’t as weird as she feared it would be, to see him alive and moving. It was surely due to the Edo Tensei, even though she didn’t really get to spend that much time with him, the war raging on around them. She had made her peace with him back then, and though she craved to have someone to confide in, Naruto wasn’t as stupid as to think that it’d be a good idea to reveal the future to anyone – she’d take this secret to the grave, it was already dangerous enough for her to be here, who knew what her knowledge could change.

She hid her anxiety beneath thick sarcasm and didn’t waste a minute to chide him on his rude attitude as she saw his hand’s subtle move towards his thigh. _The sneaky bastard_ , she mused, _if I wasn’t so paranoid, he could’ve killed me thrice in just this second. I didn’t even noticed he was awake until he opened his eyes, dammit!_

“Where am I?” Minato’s voice was hoarse as he spoke, a lot lower than the chipper tone she got used too during the war.

He was so distrustful of his own daughter, the irony! Naruto couldn’t help the little tug at the corners of her lips. She made herself comfy and decided to give him some information as to keep him from exhausting himself with worry. Still, she couldn’t help teasing him a bit by casually dropping his name, almost regretting it when he went full ninja on her – or, well, at least three quarter ninja. He was still recovering after all. Even incapacitated, Minato wasn’t a man to trifle with, and she wouldn’t want to risk pushing his buttons in her condition.

A hand came up to rub at her neck and she sighed. What a bother! She should’ve just left him where he was and gone her own way. A quick glance at his pale face made her rethink that last part – he was actually lucky she was such a good daughter, even to a father she never really had. _Err, weird, when put like that_.

“If it’ll put you at ease, I can tell you that I’m not after your bounty. And the name’s Naruto. See? Now we’re even.”

Scepticism was rolling in waves out of Minato, and even his face spelt ‘you gotta be kidding me’. It was funny to see him with such a serious and kind of bitchy face, used as she was to his paternal and sunny attitude. It was refreshing, and Naruto felt like the next few days will be filled with amusement on her end, and endless frustration for Minato.

When his eyes began to blink heavily, Naruto pushed him back to the mattress, shushing him when he tried to resist.

“You’re still not healed from your fight, nor the chakra blast,” she apologised in a whisper, fully understanding that he wouldn’t want to be so vulnerable in front of an unknown ninja.

His eyes were glazed, and she suspected that he may not have fully understand what she told him, and shrugged it off. It could wait until he was fully awake and healed. Plus, it would give her some more time to come up with a good backstory.

With a last sigh, Naruto went back to her chair and scrolls, cast them a dirty look before sealing them away and reclined against the armrest, a hand coming to her stomach. She patted it, humming under her breath.

“I really don’t know what I got myself into, do I?” she mused out loud, and only the silence answered, leaving her to simmer in doubt and fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, I wanted to continue the chapter waaay past that point, but I thought it would be a nice place for the beginning of the story to stop. I like harmony. (so, yeah, basically, don’t expect chapters of 5000 words, I don’t think it’ll happen, I may stick to 3000 words though.)
> 
> I still don’t know when I’ll update the rest. I’m a lazy ass of an author, and I only write when I feel like it, though your lovely reviews tend to make me work faster (yeah, I’m a whore for your comments, what can I say, I love the spotlight.) More seriously, my apologies in advance if you don’t hear from me soon. Like you, it would seem that I’m a human being with a life (I know, shocking, I couldn’t believe it too) and unfortunately, university doesn’t give me that much free time! Usually, I update on weekends, so… There. That’s the only timeframe I’ll give you, as to not rise your hopes up for nothing!
> 
> Please, do drop a word on your way out to let me know your thoughts, I always love to speak with my readers! :) I promise I’m not that much of an asshole (even though I can appear as too cynical in my A/Ns. That’s the exhaustion talking. I SWEAR TO GOD. I’M GENTLE AS A FLOWER. MAYBE. All I can promise is that I’m not a murderer.)
> 
> Ok, that’s the last time I write an author note when tired as fuck. See ya around, folks!


	3. Jagged Pieces 03

The second time Minato woke up, he felt tremendously better. He still couldn’t move without pain flashing through his body, but sitting up against his fluffed up pillows was manageable. Despite not trusting her entirely – what kind of ninja would he be otherwise? – Naruto proved to be a great help.

“Can you lift your arms for me?” she asked as she probed at his ribs and he winced, executing her demand.

It burnt his arms to keep them up – not unlike after being caught in a Katon jutsu, or being grazed by Kakashi’s Chidori. Unfortunately, he quickly learnt that the blond kunoichi had no skill whatsoever in healing jutsu, so they had to make do with what, in his opinion, were frankly archaic methods – namely flimsy bandages soaked in a so called ‘miraculous potion’ that just stung like bleach would when poured on raw flesh. At this rhythm, his body would take weeks, if not _months_ to be in good enough condition to travel back to Konoha.

Naruto hissed as she peeled back a soggy bandage, bits of skin sticking to the smelly, reddish gauze. Chakra burns were never pretty to look at, and Kyuubi-enhanced chakra burns were the stuff of nightmares. Minato wasn’t as wrecked as the dead missing-nin were – it seemed they took the brunt of the blast – and it looked like his body was doing a good enough job patching itself up, all things considered. The ointments she found at a local shop, imported from Kusa, was a nice help too.

She looked up when Minato grunted, and grimaced a sheepish apology, trying to be gentler while applying the medicine before wrapping the new pristine bandages.

“T’s okay,” he said between gritted teeth, “it’s just a bit tight.”

 _What a wuss_ , the woman thought with a snort, consciously ignoring the fact that she wasn’t known for her caring skills and _might_ have been a bit too rough with the injured man.

“Then suck it up, champ,” Naruto shrugged, tying up the bandages and tapping a finger against Minato’s left arm, signalling that he could finally relax.

He didn’t wait any longer to carefully lower his aching arms, heaving a big sigh and slouching a bit further in his pillows, feeling cold sweat on the hollow of his throat. Never again would he bitch about the callous medic-nin in the hospital. _Never_. “Do you happen to know how far away we are from Konoha?”

Maybe if the village was close, he could send a missive to be retrieved under the guise of a C-rank mission, the variable that was Naruto be damned. Minato just wanted to be home and forget about this awful turn his simple mission took. Plus, he reasoned that she wouldn’t have done her best to keep him alive if she wanted to harm him.

The kunoichi bit her lip. While the blond shinobi was out like a light, she had made some inquiries in town, and was shocked to find out they were at the outskirts of the Land of Lightning. Either she had ran farther – and way longer – than she’d first thought, or she had been propelled fairly far from her starting point thanks to her faulty jutsu. She should _really_ take a look at these damn ‘time’ and ‘space’ stamps…

Minato saw her expression through lidded eyes and frowned. His mission had been near the Land of Rice Fields, and surely Naruto didn’t drag his dead weight that far in the forest she found him.

He couldn’t be more wrong.

“We’re on a patch of unclaimed land managed by civilians at the borders of the Land of Lightning.”

At that, a glint appeared in the man’s eyes, and Naruto shuddered. It wasn’t the kind of sparkle that hinted towards positive emotions – it was something darker, and dared she say almost homicidal. Apparently, Minato wasn’t too glad about this new piece of information.

“I see. Does it mean you’re a Kumo ninja?” he asked in a downright chilly voice, a placid smile on his face, muscles visibly clenching under the sheets.

Scratch that. Minato obviously loathed the country if the way his eyebrow twitched when he said ‘Kumo’ was any indication.

“I’m not affiliated to any shinobi forces,” she hurriedly said, even though it was a long shot as she never tried to deny his earlier claims when he called her ‘kunoichi-san’.

“Really now? You’re awfully skilled for someone with no formal attachments.”

Okay, Minato was way too curious for his own good, Naruto decided. She wasn’t good at mind games, it was Shikamaru’s hobby, not hers. He busted her out before she could even start on her lie of being some kind of wanderer who’d been bestowed the help of some passing ninja. Never mind the fact that no sane ninja would teach an outsider about the shinobi arts – except for Jiraiya, and look where _that_ went.

Minato saw the flash of panic in her eyes, and had he been healthier, he would’ve jumped at her throat, a kunai ready to slay her for trying to _so_ openly lie to his face. He wasn’t used to such blatant disrespect, especially from those younger than him. But he’d suck it up – at least until he’d be able to walk on his own two feet.

“Perhaps I’m just a defector,” she said in an annoyed tone before smacking a hand against her mouth, berating herself for her stupidity that apparently knew no boundary. _Way to go, girl, keep antagonising him and making him suspicious. That’s a sure way to win his trust, you idiot!_ Well, at least it provided for a cover, as unsavoury as it was.

To her surprise, Minato just arched an eyebrow before snorting. “You don’t want to share your secrets, I can respect that. I would however appreciate that you don’t lie to me.”

It was her turn to snort, but much more less elegantly than the man. “We’re ninja, of course we lie. And who says I’m lying about betraying my country?” Damn, she really didn’t know when to shut up.

“Indeed, but you’re way too kind for the likes of the missing-nin,” Minato replied with a hint of amusement. _She’s not a very good ninja_ , he thought. _She never tries to conceal her expressions, and is too impulsive_. “Besides, I’ve never seen your face in a Bingo Book,” he added as an afterthought.

Naruto frowned. “Maybe I’m not strong enough to be worthy of a notice.”

The blond shinobi smirked, and the time traveller felt a cold shiver ran down her back. “True. However, someone who can _completely_ conceal their chakra while being two feet away from an excellent sensor is, in my book, considered as _highly_ dangerous.”

 _Shit_. Her face quickly turned pale – she completely forgot about her suppressing seals. It became second nature to her, during the war, and Naruto never thought about the fact that constantly masking her chakra while in the presence of an S-ranking ninja – who still didn’t view her as an ally – was suicidal. She was lucky Minato was incapacitated, otherwise, he might have struck her down before even thinking about asking questions.

She plastered a bland smile on her face, and Minato felt sick pleasure at seeing the brash kunoichi so ill-at-ease. It was always good to know he wasn’t losing his touch. Maybe he should’ve taken Inoichi’s offer to join the IT division.

“Forgive me if you thought I was being deceiving. I’m not used to be around people anymore, and I tend to forget about my suppressing seals.”

That said, Naruto held up her index, the tip shining a dull blue, before passing it across her forearms where her seals slowly appeared, glowed once, and then vanished again, as if absorbed by the flesh. She didn’t miss the gleam of interest in Minato’s eyes when she evoked her seals, nor did she miss the slight widening of his eyes when he extended his senses to feel her chakra.

“I’ve never seen seals quite like yours… To be honest, I didn’t think it possible to conceal such a huge amount of chakra,” he whispered thoughtfully, eyes raking up and down her body, trying to find and analyse some data he was missing.

“I had help in developing them,” she admitted with a shrug.

Back in her time, most people thought it was Shikamaru who helped her with the seals, but it was in fact Neji who lent her his brain and knowledge. He wasn’t near as brilliant as the Nara, but he’d tinkered with seals long enough to understand them, in the thin hope of one day being able to free himself of the Cage. He died beforehand though, and Naruto never gave up on trying to crack the cursed seal, in homage to her fallen friend.

Thinking about him, though, wasn’t as painful as thinking about Sakura – she saw his body, she was able to say her goodbyes. Naruto gingerly rubbed at her arms, where the seals should be, and it felt like carrying a bit of the Hyuuga’s legacy with her.

Seeing the melancholic look on Naruto’s face, Minato refrained from asking a barrage of questions, even though it burnt his tongue – many of his friends back home told him that he could be an insensitive asshole when he was lost in one of his project, trying to create a new technique or meddling with Fuuinjutsu. So instead, he turned away, giving Naruto a semblance of intimacy as she collected herself and poked at his legs, silently asking for him to let her tend to his other bandages.

Teeth gritted and muscles tightening, Minato let her change them without complaining. The flesh was less torn, his ANBU garb thicker there, but the limbs were stiff from disuse, which concerned him. A ninja was no good if crippled.

“How many days was I out?” he asked.

He knew his body well, and even without the help of a medic-nin, he should still be able to move freely after a hard mission or a bout of chakra exhaustion.

“Well, it’s been almost a week since the last time you woke up, and before that, it took you three days to show a sign of life. I was starting to think about digging a grave, you know – in case,” Naruto smiled with mischief.

“Or you could’ve just asked for the nearest medic to tend to me and see what was wrong,” Minato hissed as she jabbed a finger in a ragged wound, testing to see if blood would come out.

Satisfied when her finger came back barely stained, the blond woman finished her wrapping. “Told you already, we’re in a civilian village, there’s no medic-nin for miles and the only doctor in town is an old grandpa who can’t really come out this far in the forest.”

Minato looked at the bandages with a critical eye. She might not be the best medic, but at least, she did know how to dress a wound. He thanked her demurely and slouched back against his pillows. He didn’t feel as weak as the first time he joined back the world of the living, and he wished he could go outside to stretch a bit, though he knew it wasn’t the best idea.

“Do you have an idea of how long I’ll be stuck like that?”

Naruto hummed a bit, a finger at her chin and brows furrowed. It was difficult to say. Minato didn’t have the longevity of the Uzumaki clan, like her, and no demon in his belly to help with his wounds. A standard ninja would take months before being able to walk again after being so close to a Kurama-enhanced chakra blast… But Minato was no ordinary ninja.

“I’d say maybe a month before you can stand by your own, and two before being able to walk properly and perhaps do some ninja stuff. I wouldn’t hold my breath, though!”

He mulled over it. Technically, he still had a good week before the Hokage started wondering what happened to one of his top shinobi. He could try and summon a toad – at that, he flexed his fingers, feeling for his chakra. It was still unstable, but fairly manageable if he focused long enough. He hummed, and suddenly sat up, ignoring the flash of pain in his midsection.

“That won’t do,” he muttered. “Come on, help me up, I need to start getting back my strength now,” he exclaimed, trying to untangle the sheets from his legs with no success.

Naruto frowned, unimpressed, but said nothing. It wasn’t her place to tell the grown-up man what to do with his exhausted body – that would be highly hypocritical of her. Besides, he was a capable ninja and only he could really judge his situation. With a sigh, she stood up and helped Minato out of the bed, tempted to let him drop to the floor when his knees shook, just to teach him a lesson. He leant heavily on her at first, an arm slung over her shoulders, the other braced against the wall behind Naruto. After a minute of slow breathing, sweat gathering at his brow, the man finally straightened and nodded his head, signalling that she could start moving.

It was a slow process, Naruto keeping quiet as Minato hissed and bit back curses when his feet refused to obey his command, but when they finally stood in the open air, the shinobi couldn’t help the small smile gracing his tired face. The young kunoichi carefully lowered him on a wooden bench, and he took his first fresh breath since waking up. The air was cold against his sweaty, pale skin, and it burnt his lungs and throat, but it felt good because it meant that his body was still alive.

After a long while spent enjoying the forest’s sounds similar to those of Konoha’s (but it wasn’t home, it could _never_ be home), Minato opened his eyes and automatically tracked the kunoichi’s trail. She was like a beacon to his senses, her chakra burning bright and hot – no wonder she had to suppress it, otherwise, any good sensor would be able to tell her position from a mile away. Naruto was standing a few feet away, her baggy civilian clothes gently swaying in the wind as she hummed a little song absentmindedly.

She puzzled him, to be honest. He didn’t know what to make of this slip of a girl whose chakra system was as developed as a Kage’s, but seemed as naïve and inoffensive as a fresh Genin. He wished she didn’t try to save him, so that he could just eliminate her and be done with all the self-questioning. But even though Minato was a top-notch ninja, ANBU captain, and exemplary Jounin, it didn’t mean he was heartless and a dumb tool.

His eyes narrowed as Naruto held a hand to her stomach before letting it fall away, fully turning to face him. She smirked. “I can hear you thinking. What got your panties in a twist, Namikaze-san?”

“I’m wondering whether to kill you or to keep you alive,” he said bluntly, hands crossed on his knees.

Strangely enough, he wasn’t shocked to see her unsurprised – he almost expected it. Instead, she shrugged and shoved her hands in her tunic’s pockets.

“Well, if you think you’re good enough, be my guest. In the state you’re in, even a Suna Academy student could kick your ass,” she taunted, and ouch, that was nasty. Suna had never been famous for their skilled young shinobi…

He smiled crookedly. “Aah, I suppose you’re right, Naruto-san. It seems I’ll have to wait for my body to catch up with my intentions.”

A boisterous laugh answered him as she leisurely walked back into the house, yelling over her shoulder, “Yeah, you do just that. I guess that you’ll be able to drag your sorry ass back to bed on your own, then. Have fun!”

With that, the door closed behind her and Minato was left alone with his thoughts and unresponsive body. He sighed, a wry smile tugging at his lips. “Who knew foreign kunoichi could be this fun to rile up…”

He had been serious, though. As soon as his body was healed, he won’t be the vulnerable one anymore. And deep down, his gut instincts told him that this blond kunoichi wasn’t joking either about kicking his ass.

The wind blew, and with it came a few leaves. He picked one and began to gather his chakra by small touches, ready to start exercising his control.

This forced stay was sure becoming interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Advancing slowly, but surely… You may have noticed that Minato seems darker than in canon. Well, deal with it, I’m not Kishimoto, so obviously, the characters are bound to be a bit OOC. Sorry! But hey, I like him that way, and you’ll soon see why there’s this change of personality between the happy go lucky Minato we all know, and the harsher one I propose here.
> 
> Also, don’t expect an update for a few weeks at least! Exams are taking my life over, and I’d like to have my diploma in May, soooo... However, it means I’ll have more time to work on the plot and be sure to show you something good :)
> 
> Questions? Thoughts? Praises? (hey, one can dream, no?) Then comment below!
> 
> See ya around, folks :)


	4. Jagged Pieces 04

Minato stayed outside all week, unable to stand long enough on his own to reach the threshold of the little house. Frustration – and a tidbit of embarrassment too – was brewing in his insides, as he caught yet again sight of Naruto peeking at him behind the window’s curtain, a hand pressed against her mouth to muffle her honking laughter. His death glare wasn’t affecting her in the slightest as she nearly went rolling on the floor in hysterics.

But the awkwardness apart, it was a good thing for the both of them. Naruto could finally sleep easier, without the constant paranoiac fear of being stabbed by her oblivious father – never mind the fact that she had sealed away all his weapons. There was only one bed in the cabin, and now that Minato was lounging outside, she was able to rest in something comfier than the old padded armchair she found. It did wonder to her straining back, and she wasn’t ashamed to admit she almost sobbed with relief as she sank in the ratty but cloud-like mattress.

As for Minato, he was glad to spend his days outside despite the rock-hard bench he slept on. The nights were heavy with warmth, and the morning a bit chilly, making his bones whine in protest when he moved too quickly. Besides, being away from Naruto – _a threat_ , his mind kept supplying – made him focus on getting his strength back. His chakra levels were still low, but he could now summon little toads, even though it left him knocked out for a few hours afterwards. Still, it was progress, and now he could work on contacting the Hokage and eventually get the hell out of Lightning.

Stretching his worn out muscles while breathing in, Minato instantly froze and winced. He smelt awful, only realizing now that he didn’t shower since waking up, and Naruto seemed to only have cleaned up his wounds – which was apparently already asking too much from her.

His skin felt itchy and he was sure that his state of dirtiness was a sanitary hazard to his wounds. Call him a sissy, but there was no way he’d stay like that any longer.

Determined, the shinobi got to his feet, his greyish cotton pants clinging to his sweaty legs, and inch by inch, he made his way to the window where Naruto was still staring at him with amusement. Feeling his body protesting against his decision to move, he braced his bare forearms against the wooden frame, and his hazy eyes locked onto Naruto’s.

“Giving up already, Namikaze-san?”

Her grin had a malicious edge, and she even leant towards the shinobi, as if to taunt him. She knew he could do nothing right now.

He scoffed. “I don’t think so. I just wanted to ask where I could bath.”

Naruto nodded with wide innocent eyes. “Yeah, you kinda stink, man.”

 _And whose fault is it?_ He wanted to growl, but outwardly smiled in the charming way he knew Konoha’s kunoichi couldn’t resist, head slightly tilted and eyelids at half-mast, his lashes almost brushing against his faintly flushed cheeks from his previous exertion. Minato knew he was good looking, and as his best friend once crudely put it, he could make ovaries explode on sight only. And contrary to popular beliefs, he wasn’t above using his advantaging physics to get what he wanted. And now, what he wanted was just a bath and some peace.

“Aah, sorry about that, I was hoping you could help me,” he said in a lilting voice.

He wasn’t expecting Naruto to cackle so loudly that birds flew from their nests. “God, you’re so girly. What was that, a seduction technique learnt in a brothel or something? Or were you in the kunoichi classes, at the Academy?”

The smile melted away so quickly that she had to wonder for a second if it had been a Genjutsu all along. A frown replaced it, a sinister, resounding ‘ _crack_ ’ coming from where Minato’s hands were digging into the wooden frame. This time, when he looked at her with narrowed eyes, she felt like a mouse waiting to be eaten by the big cat. Her laugh quickly died as the man talked in a deceptively soft voice, “ _Listen_ , woman. I’m tired, I feel beyond dirty, and my patience is wearing thin. I’m trying to be nice here, but keep pushing and you’ll see why Konoha’s shinobi are feared.”

The guy was leaking Killing Intent and wasn’t showing any sign of falling to his knees despite his condition. She narrowed her eyes and forcefully clenched his chin between her fingers, digging deeply into the barely tanned skin. Naruto then unleashed her own Killing Intent and hissed, “If you think I’m gonna roll over and show you my belly, then you’re in for a big surprise. You’re alive because of my good will, don’t you forget it.”

To her surprise, Minato was still standing and a smirk tugged at his lips. They stared at each other for an indeterminate amount of time before Minato cheekily said, a nauseatingly fake grin stretching his mouth while thunder seemed to rage behind his eyes, “So? That bath?”

With a harrumph, she released him and he wobbled a bit. That little pissing contest took a toll on him, but he’d be caught dead before he admitted to being mildly subdued by the blonde’s power. She was more and more intriguing. It wasn’t something many people knew about him, but Minato could never resist a good challenge, and that made him as much a great shinobi as a bad one: no Kage wanted a maverick as a weapon.

And Naruto? She was becoming a challenge that Minato was eager to take on. Blood was pumping through his veins and his skin was itching. His fingers actually twitched at the idea of battling against the fierce kunoichi, and a confident smirk stretched his lips: he had even more reasons to get back to full strength now.

The woman chose that moment of epiphany to come out of the house, a huge wooden bucket held against her hip. A blue towel hung from the edge and as she passed him, the shinobi spied a bar of soap in the inside. Dread filled him. Was she actually thinking about making him bathe with the ice cold water from the nearby river?

A frown wrinkled his brow and as he opened his mouth, Naruto looked at him with sharp, angry eyes, shutting him up instantly. The river wasn’t that far, and they could hear the rushing water barely a few yards away from the house.

It was a short walk, but the man relished in being able to slump against a tree. His breathing wasn’t as affected from the exertion as it has been a week ago, proving that he was getting back in shape quicker than imagined. How he wished sometimes to have the famous Uzumaki longevity...!

A splash of cold water wet his calves and he tried his hardest not to throw an annoyed glare at the woman who just dropped the bucket at his feet.

“There. You can take your bath now,” she said, casting him the bar of scentless soap. He snatched it in the air and when it became clear that cold water was his only choice, Minato tried his best not to pout. He was a grown man. And a shinobi. He had lived through worse.

Composed, he bent down to test the water with the tips of his fingers, and regretted it. Apparently, his burns didn’t agree with the position.

Naruto clicked her tongue. She knew that it eventually would’ve gone down the humiliation path for the both of them (how would she be able to look her sire in the eye later on without puking of feeling like blinding herself? And how would Minato feel to be treated like an invalid?) With a sigh, the kunoichi tugged on the man’s arm to make him sit down on a large protruding root. He did it without complain, face already pale as he gingerly held his sides. Naruto won’t say it, but she was a bit impressed – many of her former fellow ninja would’ve been rolling on the floor crying from the pain.

“Come on, big guy,” she said, resigned. “I’ll help you get squeaky clean and I’ll rewrap your bandages afterwards! Arms up.”

Once all the bandages were off, she wet the sponge she brought with her and helped the hurt shinobi in washing away the grime and sweat, letting him handle the more private parts. Naruto tried to do it clinically, thinking of all the times she did the same for her comrades, and sooner than she thought, she was done and didn’t even blush once, nor did she feel the need to throw up. All in all, at the end of the day, it was just another scarred body.

Minato was shivering, and Naruto felt a twinge of sympathy. Maybe forcing him to use cold water was too petty… After all, she was indeed the one to make fun of him in the first place, and she knew that in his stead, she would’ve blown a gasket much earlier! Really, his patience was to be admired.

She sighed angrily at herself. Her emotions have been all over the place these last months, but it was no reason to take revenge on an innocent man. Well, as innocent as Minato could be, what with his death threats and grumpy glares. He was _so not_ getting back his weapons.

“Sorry,” she finally mumbled as she patted him down with the towel, trying not to be rough and jostle his wounds. At his confused expression, she added, “For acting like a total bitch. Though for my defense, you’ve been acting like a huge bastard since day one.”

Okay, she was definitely not good at apologizing, but the idea was there at least.

He tensed under her hands and Naruto looked up, intrigued.

“Don’t call me that.”

The tone was chilly and unfriendly, but the grim effect was lost between his quivering lips and clicking teeth. It was too much. Naruto bit the inside of her cheek, head bowed as she wrapped the towel around the man’s broad shoulders, and she completely broke when Minato sneezed.

Her laugh rung through the forest, startling a few birds into a panicked flight.

“Man, you’re weeeaaak! You didn’t even go into the river, and you’re barely wet from washing up!”

He sneezed again. “I slept outside all week, after being in a comatose state for days, never mind the fact that I’m not at the peak of my health. _Excuse_ -me for being affected by cold water, on top of that,” he glowered as he sniffled.

Naruto sniggered a bit more before helping the shinobi to his feet. “Alright, let’s get you warm. And maybe we can talk afterwards about how to get you back home.”

He looked at her with surprise, almost stumbling over thin air, and she only smiled while tugging him towards the little cottage. It’s not like Naruto spent the whole time away from Minato without reflecting on their situation. She was in no shape to go back to the ninja village right now, but she could make sure that the ANBU captain was sent back – Konoha needed all its soldiers, after all.

Later, as Minato was finally dry and warmth was seeping into him, a mug of tea clutched between his hands, Naruto laid out a scroll in front of him. “Write whatever you need to, I’ll make sure it is sent to your Kage.”

He appraised her with his keen eyes, eventually arching a brow. “Don’t take it the wrong way, but I don’t feel comfortable with you handling confidential documents.”

Naruto shrugged, unconcerned. “Fair enough. What do you propose then? I can’t imagine you’d be okay with me hiring some Kumo ninja…”

The blond man sipped at his green tea – _too sugary,_ he though while licking his lips – and shook his head. “I think I can manage to summon one of my toads long enough to pass them a message.”

It was Naruto’s turn to skeptically lift an eyebrow. “Really? You sure you have the chakra needed?”

A smug smile tugged at Minato’s lips, and Naruto wanted to slap it off his face. She never remembered her father as being so annoying and obnoxious. Maybe people were wrong back home, and she took more after her sire than her mother…

“You’re underestimating me, Naruto-san. I’ve suffered worst wounds in the past, and still was able to operate at the best of my abilities.”

She was about to snort _‘yeah, right’_ when something tickled her senses and she focused. Chakra was being moved around them, and as she finally pinpointed the source, she stifled a gasp. Minato’s eyelids had taken an orange tinge to them, and yellow has begun to slip in his baby-blue eyes. All the time they’ve been sitting there, he had barely moved, gathering Senjutsu without Naruto’s awareness. She made a sound in the back of her throat and crossed her arms, petulant. That was cheating. _Of course_ he would be up in no time with the help of natural chakra.

Seeing her sour expression, Minato chuckled, not even bothering to stop at the dark glare the woman threw him. For once, he wasn’t the butt of a joke, so she could suck it up. It didn’t take long after that for him to summon a small toad who greeted him with excited shouts and tears. Apparently, they’ve been worried after not hearing from him post battle.

He quickly wrote a succinct note to the Sandaime before tucking the scroll into the toad’s pouch tied at its neck. “Stay with him while he writes his answer and comes back straight to me.”

The toad nodded obediently before vanishing in a puff of smoke.

Naruto had been worried at first to be recognized by a summon who would’ve blown up her cover, but it was a red toad she never saw before and relief washed through her. Maybe she should try and summon Gamakichi, to see if her contract was still valid and if so, maybe the toads would’ve a solution for her time travel problem.

Hearing the Konoha ninja’s sigh, she glanced up at him and tilted her head to the side. “Tired already?”

A groan was her answer. Minato’s head was thrown back, fingers crossed on his belly and legs spread out under the table. His Adam apple bobbed up several times before he sighed again. “No.” A pause. Then a new frustrated sigh. “Yes. I don’t know. It feels weird to have so much chakra in me again.”

She hummed noncommittally. She had never experienced a chakra drain before, and her friends often depicted her as a chakra tank. To her, it would’ve been weird not to feel full to the brim with energy.

The silence was broken by a new puff of smoke, the red toad from before jumping on Minato’s shoulder to give him the Hokage’s answer. Minato straightened in his chair, eyes losing their lazy edge to focus on the scrawled message.

On the other side of the table, Naruto was almost bouncing on her chair, eager to know what it said. She would never admit it, but she felt a bit anxious too. If Minato went away, it would mean that she would be left alone with her dark thoughts. Kurama still didn’t contact her, and she was reluctant to go into the seal, too scared to acknowledge the fact that maybe her friend was gone.

When Minato closed the scroll and put it back on his side of the table, chin nestled on the heel of his hand, Naruto gulped. This was it. The moment of truth.

“So? Should I be expecting a horde of ninja at my doorstep tomorrow?” she smiled, crinkled eyes hiding her worry.

A soft hum, then Minato simpered exaggeratedly, “So eager to get rid of me… you’re a bad host, Naruto-san.”

She kicked his shin under the table while keeping a sweet smile on her face, a vein throbbing at her temple. He stifled a moan as his body went rigid, trying not to jump at the attack. He smiled equally, sickeningly sweet at her, though his eyebrow twitched and a spasm went through his fingers, as if he was about to throttle the kunoichi.

“The Hokage can’t spare a retrieval team right now, and since I assured him I’m in no danger _whatsoever_ ,” at that, he deliberately stomped on her right foot, grinding his sandaled heel on her bare toes as she hissed and gripped the table’s edge, “we agreed that my staying here wouldn’t be a problem, as Konoha doesn’t need my services at the moment.”

“So you’re basically saying that I’m stuck with you until further notice?” she drawled, sending one last kick at Minato’s ankle. Deep down, a sense of relief washed over her. Maybe she could avoid her responsibilities for a bit longer.

“I’d say it’s the other way around,” Minato complained as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Naruto snorted, and as she stood up to go into the kitchen, readying a new pot of tea, she said, “I’m keeping the bed.”

Minato watched her back, his pointy chin cradled between two knuckles of his clenched fist as he leant forward on the table. “I’m the sick one, though.”

He kept gazing at her as the kunoichi threw spoonful after spoonful of sugar into the pot as she hummed, “Does it look like I care?”

A defeated grunt was her answer, and a genuine smile crossed her face. The tea was done already, but Naruto kept herself busy, not wanting to turn around and break their amiable moment. It almost felt like being back in her Konoha, enjoying the easy banter as she would with an old friend.

Unbeknownst to her, as light blue eyes tracked her moving frame, a slight grin upturned Minato’s lips. He covered it with his fist and turned away to look out the open window, where Naruto taunted him earlier that day. It seemed so far away now. Truly, it’s amazing how much the two blondes clashed like a volcano meeting a tornado, and yet could still enjoy a moment of peace together.

As he listened to the clinking of pots and mugs, Minato ended up thinking that asking the Sandaime for a vacation had been a good idea after all. Maybe if he accepted to face the challenge that Naruto has proved to be, his mind would quit harassing him and he’d be able to go back home without feeling a twinge of regret – without being burdened by the inevitable flood of never answered “what ifs”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, folks! Exams are being a bitch...  
> Just to let you know: there will be no update until late May, AT LEAST! After that, I should be all yours :)  
> See ya around, and thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

With the careful use of Senjutsu and thanks to his own stamina, it didn’t take much longer for Minato to almost fully recover. He was still a bit rough around the edges, but nothing some training wouldn’t curb. Naruto refused to give him back his weapons when he politely asked for them two weeks into his stay, and though he understood – and could, from a professional point of view, appreciate her vigilance – it still didn’t sit well with him. It felt weird to be clothed like a civilian again after so many years spent as a ninja, with no weapon pouch at his thigh, but his ANBU garb had _apparently_ been unsalvageable.

Looking at his itchy, moss-green sweater, he sighed. Only silence answered him, and Minato sighed louder and longer, the edges of his lips fluttering as he tried to keep a forlorn expression when he saw Naruto’s shoulders tense. Getting on her nerves had fast become one of his favorite games. Who knew boredom could so easily be vanquished?

He took a breath, preparing to sigh again, and choked a bit when the butter knife the kunoichi had been using found itself lodged a hair away from his hand. Nice aim for the sleepy woman, he had to admit.

“God help me if you sigh again,” Naruto grumbled ominously. “It’s way too early for you to smother me with your unhappiness.”

A thing he learnt about the woman is that she could be chirpy as a bird in the morning, or irritable as a bear. There was no consistency in her moods, which kept him on his toes. It was his first time living so long in close quarters with a woman who wasn’t a teammate under his command, and Minato couldn’t help but wonder if all women were this weird.

However, he believed some of her odd behavior had to do with PTSD – it showed clearly in the way her eyes would sometimes glaze over as she stared into nothingness, looking dead to the world. It was a look many veterans shared, but the lack of blemishes on her skin and her fairly young age kind of went against this theory.

The shinobi picked up the utensil, noticing how deep it went through the wood. “I’m not unhappy. Just bored.”

“Then go train or something,” she mumbled around a dry toast, too lazy to get a new knife, and too proud to ask Minato to hand back the one she threw at him.

“Well, I would, if only someone would be so kind as to tell me where my weapons are,” he reminded her with nonchalance, the butter knife twirling between his deft fingers.

Naruto snorted, blurry eyes narrowing. “Yeah, I don’t think so. I didn’t forget your threats, buddy.”

Minato only smiled, buttering a toast for himself. He made a show of sharpening the dull blade of the knife with his wind chakra, cutting thin slices of ham from the dish sitting on the table. Naruto rolled her eyes, saying something about “smug bastards”, and Minato’s smile took a chilly edge, fist clenching around the knife’s handle. It wouldn’t do to throw it at his host, he kept reminding himself. Even though said-host was proving to be quite rude in her choice of insults.

“So,” he began after clearing his throat, “what do you do in your spare time around here, Naruto-san?”

She blinked twice, swallowed her mouthful, and coughed a little when it proved to be too big for her esophagi. As she gulped down her glass of water, Naruto took the time to think about the question. From what she knew about her wanderings when Minato was comatose, there was nothing really entertaining in the area, and the village offered not much more than supplies for the daily life.

With a shrug, she settled for a mild truth based on her youth. “To be honest, I don’t spend much time around here. I love to travel and see new places.”

“Ah, yes. I remember you said you were back from one of your trips when you found me. Still, don’t you like the hot springs of the regions?” he inquired, honestly curious. The kunoichi back home were always raving about natural hot springs, never really satisfied by the bathhouse built in Konoha.

Naruto was kind of befuddled. Even in her timeline, she never really wandered around Lightning, too busy saving the world and chasing Sasuke. And her travels with Jiraiya never strayed far from the Land of Fire. So Minato’s question threw her off kilter.

Again, she shrugged. “Er, yeah. I don’t know. I’m not really a fan of hot springs. How do you know that, anyway?”

Minato, for a second, looked surprised if not a bit confused, but his face quickly became blank. Now, Naruto was curious to know what went through his mind.

“Let’s say I’m more familiar than I’d like to be with the Land of Lightning’s assets.”

 _Way to be cryptic,_ Naruto thought. Seeing her lost expression, Minato furthered his explanation with furrowed brows, “That comes with being a ninja of my standing.”

 _As if that made more sense!_ But Naruto nodded, feigning understanding. “Yeah, of course. Reckon missions, diplomatic shit and the likes... Right?”

Her fellow blonde shinobi quirked an eyebrow, drawling an unconvinced “right” before taking his dirty plates to the sink and washed them before drying them, ignoring Naruto when she tried not so subtly to slip hers into the soapy water. He learnt early on that she had no domestic skills whatsoever. Spending a day puking his guts out after she tried her hand at homemade stew was enough to convince him to take up the house chores as a way to earn his keep.

“So, I was thinking,” Minato began nonchalantly once the dishes were put away, drying his hands on a nearby rag. “I’ve been cooped up here for so long now, and despite your charming nature,” at that, Naruto snorted, “I’d like to see new faces.”

The woman shrugged, feeling quite unconcerned. Counting the week Minato was out, he’d been with her for nearly a month, never straying far from the cottage and the nearby river. It was understandable that he felt the need to move.

She snatched the last apple sitting in the fruit basket and looked at it. It was a bit wrinkled, but she deemed it good enough to eat anyway. Usually, she wouldn’t be caught dead eating a fruit, but her stomach kept growling. Munching noisily on it, she ignored Minato’s disgusted face and said, “Feel free to go. Last time I checked, I was not your keeper, princess. No need to ask for permission.”

“Why, thank you for your generosity,” he drawled sarcastically. “But please, do tell me how I’m supposed to find my way to the village if I never saw it before?”

“Now you’ve got to be kidding,” Naruto was quick to retort, still chewing obnoxiously. “Aren’t you supposed to be a ninja?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be my host?” the shinobi argued right back, batting his eyelids rapidly and faking naivety. “I don’t feel like wasting chakra for something like that. I’m still recovering.”

The whiny tone he adopted made her cringe. Naruto had to admit he was good at getting on her nerves, and if the devilish smirk he sported right now was to be trusted, Minato quite enjoyed his little game. She was about to flip him off, when he decided to take a more serious tone, face for once devoid of any trickery and brows slightly wrinkled in worry.

“The pantry needs to be replenished, anyway. There’s an awful lack of vegetables in this house, and the milk has soured. I have no money on me, and unless you trust me with your savings, I’m afraid you’ll have to stick with me.”

Okay. It was actually a fair point, and more reasonable than his previous arguments. Resigned, Naruto sighed loudly and unenthusiastically went to fetch a large satchel. When she came back, Minato was already waiting for her at the door, a light smile stretching his lips and crinkling the corners of his eyes. She almost stumbled, swallowing through the lump in her throat and blinking rapidly to chase treacherous tears.

Like that, with the sun shining on his bright blond hair and his light colored clothes, the shinobi looked really like the father she remembered – soft and caring. It was easy to forget when he relished in driving her up the walls, always a snarky jab at the ready.

She almost wanted to slap the grin off his face, to claw at his slightly tanned skin and tear his hair off. He wasn’t allowed to look so familiar! How was she supposed to detach herself from her past life if he acted so fond?

Moody, Naruto stomped past the confused man and led the way to the village, refusing to pertain in the small talk Minato was trying to have.

She preferred when he was mean and distrustful – it was easier for her heart to handle.

 

 

 

The trek to the village had mostly been silent despite Minato’s best efforts to fill it. As he babbled away, talking about the weather and the worthy touristic sights in Kumo, he kept an eye on the kunoichi’s tensed shoulders and the death grip she had on her satchel. Her frustration had obviously got the better of her training as she stomped loudly through the forest, always a few steps ahead the shinobi she shouldn’t trust with her back.

She was lucky Minato wasn’t interested in killing her, otherwise, the woman would’ve met her death more than thrice by the time they entered the small village full of life. The sudden clash of sounds oddly comforted the man – it wasn’t Konoha, but still, hearing children’s laughter and merchants’ cries was a welcomed change from the overwhelming silence of the forest.

Quickly, the blond man hid beneath a non-descript henge – medium height, dull chestnut hair, and soft green eyes – receiving an odd look from Naruto who shrugged it off as a quirk.

A tower of smoke was steadily rising from the center of the village, and with a quick burst of chakra channeled through his nose, Minato could smell melted iron and coal. His nose wasn’t as good as Kakashi’s or an Inuzuka’s, but it was enough for him to deduce it had to come from a blacksmith. Without thinking, he let his feet guide him towards the smoke, already thinking about the sort of rare weapons being made in Lightning. However, he came to an abrupt stop when a hand clamped on his elbow, feeling like claws. It was only Minato’s perfect control that allowed him to not give way to his instincts and break the hand in half.

“Where do you think you’re going, princess? I thought you needed a guide.”

He sighed and turned on his heels, waiting for the kunoichi to show the way. “My apologies, Naruto-san. You’ve been so silent that I actually forgot you were there.”

“Yeah, right,” the young woman grumbled, already making her way towards the open market. “You’re banned from going to the blacksmith anyway. No way you’re getting weapons on my watch.”

Minato shrugged, not feeling concerned. He may complain every now and then about his weapons being held hostage, but truly, he didn’t care much for them now that he was healed and with chakra at his disposal. Though he’d readily admit that he missed his pronged kunai.

He didn’t pay much attention as the kunoichi made her way through the stalls, lost in his thoughts on how to maybe increase the speed rate in his praised Hiraishin, until they came to the meat stand and he heard Naruto loudly asking for at least twelve pounds of beef.

He watched with round eyes as the shocked – though overjoyed – butcher was already reaching for a bag, and Minato looked at the kunoichi’s empty satchel.

“Wait!” he said to the merchant before turning to the blond woman who was drooling at all the displayed meat, “Where are the vegetables?”

“What vegetables?” she groaned as she made grabby hands at the beef the butcher had yet to wrap away.

Minato batted the hands away before grabbing the satchel to wave it in front of Naruto’s face, distracting her from the meat. “We’ve been walking through the fruit and vegetables stands for at least twenty minutes before coming here, and you didn’t get anything at all?”

Naruto shrugged. “I don’t like vegies, so what? You gonna sue me?”

His eyes immediately raked over her frame, and she subconsciously crossed her arms over her stomach, feeling oddly naked. She knew she was a bit on the underweight side, her muscles leaner than before and her bone structure a bit too apparent – eating properly hadn’t been one of her top priorities while she worked on the revival of the Hiraishin, and it’s true that by dealing with the stress of her time travel situation and Minato himself, her appetite had been lost. Still, it wasn’t a reason for the man to judge her so conspicuously.

Not looking away from the kunoichi, Minato asked the butcher for just three pounds of meat, ranging from chicken to beef to pork, defying the woman with a silent glare to argue. Chewing on her cheek, Naruto eventually huffed and paid for the purchase, ready to go to the next stand – the sweets looked good, and her mouth watered at the idea of orange-stuffed chocolates. However, Minato had a completely different idea as he grabbed her by the back of her collar and without straining a muscle, dragged her towards the vegetables.

“Would you look at that!” he grinned evilly. “So many artichokes and kales awaiting you!”

She gagged at the names and started to fight his hold with no success. The middle-aged lady behind the stall looked at them, bemused, before politely asking what she could get them.

“The greener, the better,” Minato smiled. “Oh, you even have spinach! How wonderful, right Naruto-san? We’ll take half a crate of everything, please.”

“Over my dead body, blondie!” the kunoichi snarled, cursing her lack of nails as she tried to sink her fingers in the man’s battle-hardened skin. “You do that and I’ll shave you bald! You hear me?!”

The grip turned into a chokehold as the shinobi suddenly pressed her against his side, digging his pointy chin hard on the top of her skull while chuckling. Naruto gagged again when she saw an old couple passing them and cooing at the ‘affectionate’ gesture. The bastard was good at acting, she’d give him that.

“Actually, make it a whole crate!”

This whole shopping trip had turned into an awful experience for the young time traveler. She was sure there was a hole in her skull now, and her feet were killing her. Her satchel was filled to the brim with carrots and other nasty vegetables she never asked for, and she shuddered as she remembered that Minato had sealed away many other vegetables and fruits.

“Aaah, it was a productive day!” Minato rejoiced as he stretched his arms, finally dropping his henge once the village was out of sight.

He was not even mad when the kunoichi cast the satchel at his unprotected head, snatching it in the air and hoisting it on his shoulder. He was already making his way back to the cottage, not waiting for Naruto who kicked in every pebble she found, grumbling all the way home.

“I can’t believe you used my own money to feed me these atrocities,” Naruto later said as they were sitting at the table, a large dish of kale and tomato salad in the center.

Minato had served her at least half the dish, a smirk never leaving his face as he watched her forcing down the half-chewed food in an effort to not taste it. She was promised a huge steak if she finished her plate, and it was the only thing keeping her going.

“Well, it’s your fault for being so stubborn about my ninja wear. If only I had a kunai,” he sighed heavily, “then I would’ve been able to hunt something down and not bother you with your eating habits. And if only I had my protective garb, I could scavenge in the forest without fear of hurting myself.”

He blinked huge blue eyes at her, a pout on his lips, and the fork in her hand bent in two.

“You’re… so full of _shit_ ,” Naruto spat. “I already told you, I’m not that stupid as to give a fellow ninja a way to better assault me.”

“That’s a bit hypocritical from you,” Minato noted, neutral. “You’ve been carrying weapons under your belt since day one. Yet, you don’t see me accusing you of planning my murder.”

Automatically, Naruto brought a hand under her shirt, feeling for the kunai stashed there and gripping its handle. She frowned. It has been well concealed under her large clothing, and even though he’d been scrutinizing her for days, Minato shouldn’t have been able to notice it.

A small smile graced his lips as he leant back in his chair, slightly tilting his head back, consciously making himself completely vulnerable. “It wasn’t hard to guess. Every time you’re startled, you shift into a subtle battle position and your hand goes straight there before you relax. Besides, you would be truly insane to shelter a renowned shinobi under your roof with no means to defend yourself.”

That wasn’t good. Naruto had always been appreciative of people with a keen sense of observation. It was after all a praised tool in the ninja world. Kakashi, in his last days, had often bemoaned the fact that Naruto didn’t think enough compared to her formidable father. She used to agree with a laugh, puffing out her chest with pride.

Now, she just wanted to lament her fate and Minato’s goddamned skills. Couldn’t he have been a self-absorbed dumbass? Was it too much to ask?

She felt a tug in her guts and gulped. Now was not the time for her nerves to play out.

Resolutely, she shoved the rest of the salad in her mouth, picked up her dishes and dumped them in the sink before trying to scurry back to her room. Of course, trying to out speed Minato was a stupid idea.

It was even stupider to give him her full, unprotected back.

He proved it by appearing in a flash behind her – and _damn_ , the dude was fast even without the Hiraishin –  two fingers stopping inches away from her bare throat as he leant towards her ear, his chest almost touching her back. _No issue possible_ , her mind calculated as she felt the wind chakra pouring out of the fingers, forming a sharp blade ready to slice through her artery.

“Though for the record, disarming me will only bring you the illusion of safety,” he whispered, playfulness gone from his tone.

There was a tensed silence during which Naruto tried to think up a strategy. She was trapped and felt like prey. Normally, Kurama would be in a corner of her mind, ready to grumble and help her out, and she wouldn’t be so scared of possibly bleeding to death by making a rash move. Now that she was left to her own devices, Naruto was just realizing that she may have relied too much on her furry beast and his accelerated healing factor in the past years.

The fact that shoving a Rasengan down the throat of her foes was her go to answer in this kind of situation wasn’t helping either. First, because killing Minato was not her goal – she would very much like to be born later, thank you – and secondly, showing him his own technique was a sure way to be sent to the IT unity back in Konoha – and that was if Minato didn’t kill her on the spot.

What to do, what to do… She should’ve listened to Sakura when she tried to teach her more about using her brain.

“What are you playing at, Namikaze?” she grunted when he made no indication of pulling away.

She flinched, surprised, when his other hand came to rest on her hip. The hold was light, easily breakable, but sent an obvious warning – do not move. The hand slipped slowly towards her stomach, and if it wasn’t for the chakra blade held at her throat, she would’ve trashed in the man’s grip.

All she could do was grit her teeth and tense her muscles as Minato softly pressed down, feeling the tiny bulge underneath the large tunic, before humming thoughtfully.

“I knew it couldn’t have only been about hiding a weapon. Nature chakra can be really useful,” he muttered, finally backing away.

Of _course_. Naruto wanted to slap herself. She _knew_ that Senjutsu made it perfectly easy to spot signs of life, and yet she forgot all about it.

She turned around briskly, slamming Minato into the nearest wall, her formerly hidden kunai now pressed against his jugular. The shinobi didn’t try to defend himself, letting her press harder as a fine trickle of blood went down his neck.

With stormy eyes, she snarled, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he calmly said, eyes hard as steel.

Slowly, he wrapped a hand around her thin wrist, but didn’t force her to pull away. The hand was just there to make sure she wouldn’t actually slash open his trachea.

When she didn’t answer, only narrowing her eyes at him, he huffed, “What is a pregnant kunoichi doing so far out in the woods?”

“So what? I like my peace and space, is that a crime?”

He laughed, but there was no humor in it. “You show clear signs of PTSD. This cottage is clearly not that lived in, and despite your claims of being a wanderer, I haven’t seen much of your travelling supplies. I’m not in the Bingo Book for my good looks, you know.”

Silence.

Seeing that he wasn’t going to get a reaction, the shinobi continued, “There aren’t that much possibilities. Are you running away from your village? I heard rumors about some hidden villages becoming more and more hostile to their clans with bloodlines… Are you wanted because of your abnormal amount of chakra?” he fired the questions with a firm tone, entering his ANBU Captain mindset.

The woman scoffed and leant back, nicking Minato’s skin with her kunai as she released him. He didn’t make a move to touch his neck, even when blood reached his wide collar, making it stick to his clavicles.

“You’re being quite nosy here, buddy. You weren’t so caring a few weeks ago when you were considering killing me.”

The shinobi shrugged and decided to go for a truthful approach. “Well, you’re a fascinating case to study, killing you would be a regrettable waste. Your chakra is really interesting, and you’re far from weak,” he said as he recalled how her KI actually disturbed him. She could make a worthy partner, and his blood boiled at the challenge she would be in a Ninjutsu only fight. “Plus, you’ve been tickling my curiosity with your seal work…”

Naruto frowned. She only showed him her arms’ seals – they were not that complicated to create for a connoisseur like Minato, and Jiraiya would’ve done much better.

Seeing her confusion, Minato bit on the inside of his cheek, debating with himself, before heaving a sigh. He looked contrite as he uttered, “You’re a heavy sleeper, you know? Not really good for a ninja, though I suppose your pregnancy has a role to play in that…” He rubbed his nape and admitted, “I snooped around and found your scrolls. Really interesting sketches. You should hide your stuff better, by the way, anyone could steal your ideas if you’re so careless.”

“Yeah, because I obviously let strangers into my house that often,” the kunoichi sneered, more annoyed than angry.

She didn’t mind him looking at her work, as long as he didn’t stumble on her time travel seal.

“Well, you’ve let me in.”

 _That’s not the same_ , Naruto wanted to argue, and opened her mouth to do just so before thinking better of it.

Yes, it was.

She didn’t know this Minato. It wasn’t her father. This Minato was too young, too frank with his opinions, and not yet the poised leader everybody loved. He was perhaps too brash, cynical, and sometimes too serious when it came to his job as a shinobi.

So Naruto stayed silent, not looking at the man who already proved to be too perspective for his own good. Minato didn’t seem to mind her silence as he went on, “I estimate I still have three weeks, give or take, before the Hokage has a team ready to retrieve me. So I’ll be straightforward…”

This caught her attention as she looked up, an eyebrow cocked, waiting suspiciously for the rest of his sentence.

He had been watching her since the first day they met. He had seen the controlled movements, the repressed energy. He had sensed the easy flow of chakra – like giant waves licking the shores of her body. This kunoichi was truly good, with a potential that just asked to be unleased. If he was honest, Minato had been envious at first of her obvious strength. If he had it… He sure wouldn’t be sabotaging himself by keeping away from the world, hiding in a desolated cottage lost in the woods.

But what had really caught his attention hadn’t been so much the strength but the loneliness hidden behind her eyes. It was a feeling he was familiar with, seeing it in the eyes of some friends and teammates. Seeing it in his own eyes more often than he’d be willing to admit. Discovering by chance that this lonely woman – who was somehow traumatized by her kunoichi life – was pregnant had been what really drove the man to see the human behind the lethal weapon. And what he saw… He actually learnt to like.

They were similar, him and her.

His gaze never wavered as dark blue eyes met baby blue ones.

“Come with me. Come to the Leaf.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience, guys! You've been really sweet about it :D  
> I hope this new chapter wasn't a disapointment, let me know your thoughts!


	6. Jagged Pieces 06

She had laughed. Hard, and right in his face, almost choking for breath.

She had laughed, and then ran to her room, banging the door shut behind her, cheeks growing pale as she plastered herself against the closed door.

Minato didn't try to follow, giving her the privacy she needed. Naruto's mind was in disarray, and as she sat crossed-legs on her ratty bed, hands firmly perched on her bony knees, she decided that it was high time to try establishing contact with her furry friend.

Breathing deeply, calming her inner turmoil, Naruto started to empty her head. It took several minutes before her racing heart finally slowed down and she could feel herself slipping away in the depth of her mind.

She met the usual blockage since she'd been dumped into this era – a gentle rebuttal, pushing her away as she tried to bypass the invisible wall. Usually, this is where she'd give up, not wanting to force the issue – she was no Yamanaka, and who knew what damage she could inflict her own mind by trying to violate it. However, this time, Naruto didn't stop, shoving harder and harder against the wall. Her whole body was tensing as she battled against her own self, and it felt like tumbling down a never ending pit when the wall abruptly vanished.

When she opened her eyes, only darkness surrounded her, familiar gutters and sewers spreading around her mindscape. The dirty water was licking her ankles, and the faraway echo of dripping drops greeted her. Naruto frowned, confused.

"What the hell," she muttered, padding through the water, the splashes she made the only sounds in the otherwise empty gutters.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. She hadn't seen these gutters for years now. It should've been a wide and white space greeting her – not a dirty swamp.

Quickening her steps, almost breaking into a run, Naruto took familiar corners before coming to a stop when the water started to recede, unveiling an unyielding concrete ground. Her sandalled feet thumped loudly against it as she walked to the center of the large room, the giant prison of the Tailed Beast looming just a few yards before her.

She peered into it, eyes narrowed in an effort to see something through the dark. When she saw nothing, she huffed. It wasn't that odd – the Kyuubi had a knack for hiding in the shadows, when she was younger, only to jump at the bars just to scare her.

With a confident step, she walked to the bars, noticing that the flimsy seal having once kept the doors closed wasn't there – this was when she realized that the gates were actually ajar. She slipped through them, heart beating a wild tattoo against her ribs.

Nothing attacked her, and nothing disrupted the air as she ran through the colossal cage, rattling the bars and waving her arms around. She ran around it at least thrice, screaming Kurama's name at the top of her lungs, and before she knew it, her feet skidded to a stop and Naruto looked blindly in front of her. Nothing. There was absolutely nothing.

The cage was empty.

Kurama was gone.

Naruto was alone.

 

 

Minato stayed clear of the room, only approaching the door to leave a tray of food before going back outside to meditate. When he came back at nightfall, the tray had been left untouched, and a frown wrinkled the corners of his lips. He couldn't help but silently judge her: what kind of woman would let herself starve while pregnant? He knew how Kumo's kunoichi were fierce, and often miscarried due to them putting their career above their unborn child's health. Iwa would say it was admirable, but in Konoha, it was frowned upon – they needed new blood too much to allow their kunoichi such free reign over their bodies.

The man wanted to barge into the room and force the food down her throat, consequences be damned. But he stayed put, bringing out new dishes instead and tossing the wasted food away. The thing that really worried him was the lack of movement coming from the eerily silent room, and if it wasn't for the fact that Naruto never activated back her chakra concealing seals, Minato would've never guessed that someone was in there.

Maybe it had been a mistake on his part to confront her like he did. It was tactless, to put her on the spot like that. He didn't even do it out of concern for her well-being – he just wanted to knock her down a peg, to remind her she could play the boss all she wanted, Minato wasn't to be trifled with. And the worse is – he had kind of relished in the frightened glint that made her eyes glassy, and the slight shiver that ran down her arms. He had felt like the predator who just caught his clever prey between his claws, and it was empowering.

The shinobi sighed, disgusted. It was high time he went back to Konoha, so he could shed his ANBU skin and let his guard down once more. The thrill of mission was still singing in his blood, and as long as he hadn't handed his report to the Hokage and was ordered to rest, he knew he'd stay like that: downright assholish, and utterly uncaring.

Not that he wasn't an asshole to begin with – their resident Uzumaki never failed to remind him of the fact when they hung out together and the blond would use the redhead as a deterrent when women tried to flirt with him. But still. Usually, he could hide it better under charming smiles and flowery words.

He's brought out of his moody thoughts by the 'click' of the door as it swung open. He stamped down his instinct to dodge the pillow coming at his head, and let it hit him, not even questioning the abuse.

"You deserve it, bastard", Naruto still grumbled, taking one look at the tray that she almost overturned before lifting it, grumpily plumping down across the blond man at the table before taking the offered chopsticks to eat.

Neither spoke, letting the silence settle over them once again. She was hungry after staying scooped all day inside her room, thinking about her options and making decisions.

Her eyes were red and swollen, and for once, Minato didn't say anything at the insult. She had been crying, he thought. She had been crying without ever making a sound.

It didn't take long for the woman to finish her food, patting serenely her little bump afterwards. Minato followed the movement, and softly asked, genuinely curious, "How far along are you?"

Naruto had to actually stop and think for a second. She had refused to be seen by a doctor, back in her time, too consumed by her goal and too nervous to step inside the hospital – it held bad memories, because both Tsunade and Sakura were as good as dead, and seeing the green chakra glowing in someone else's hands made her want to throw up and die.

"I'm halfway through my eighth month," she eventually calculated.

"Pardon?" Minato spluttered, looking at her with wide eyes.

"What?" she said defensively, arms crossed over her stomach.

"You look to be five months in, at most!"

Naruto shrugged. This kind of speech went over her head. "I was in denial for the first 6 months," she recited dutifully what Ino had explained to her during her first and only examination after she almost fainted from an unexplainable exhaustion, "the baby is only starting to show now as a result, and still has to push against my abdominal muscles to get some room."

The fact that she wasn't the healthiest of persons to begin with also played a role in her child's small size, and she was still trying to take the habit of taking care of herself now that she was housing a new life. It was still a work in progress, and sometimes, she sarcastically wondered if she was channeling her inner Kakashi.

 _In denial_ , Minato thought. It was a rare occurrence, in ninja villages, where women practically chose the exact moment they would try and make a baby. It helped organizing new rosters for the missions, and there was seldom a shortage of active kunoichi. But Naruto, if she was to be trusted, was not from Kumo or any other hidden village. Which meant this baby was either an unwanted mistake, or made at a horrible timing.

"Is the father..." he trailed off, having not idea of how to frame his question.

It turned out he didn't have to, as the blond woman immediately cut him off, eyes riveted on her empty plate, "Dead." She cleared her throat, but her voice was still hoarse, "He died saving me in one of our more… adventurous… trips."

"Oh." The shinobi didn't say anything else, nodding in silence.

There was no need to offer condolences – it was futile, in the ninja world, and from the sound of it, that man died a good, respectable death. No need to feel sorry for him, nor for the strong woman who undoubtedly unleashed her wrath on her lover's murderers.

Instead, Minato let the silence befall them for a respectful minute before broaching the real topic he was interested in, "Have you given thought to my offer?"

"Yes."

"Do you have an answer?"

"I do."

Her hands curled into fists under the table, but her face stayed as blank as Minato's. She had thought hard and long about her situation, and what she should do. Clearly, Kurama had come to the past with her – her father's healed burns were a dead give-away, after all. So if he wasn't inside her seal, it could only mean two things: either the fox had somehow been absorbed by her mother's seal, or her Kurama had ceased to exist due to this time's replica.

Thinking about the second hypothesis left her cold and anxious, but it was the hypothesis that made the more sense – logically speaking, two same souls couldn't exist in one world. As time travelers, they were an anomaly, they shouldn't be there, and what better way to right the universe than by erasing them? If this was true, it meant Naruto had only a limited amount of time to help prevent some key events before she, too, would disappear. The only consoling thought was to know her child would surely be born by then, and there was no way this time's Kakashi would one day entertain the idea of sleeping with his very much alive sensei's daughter, meaning her baby was safe and sound, no matter what.

In any case, Naruto didn't have much of choice: she had to go to Konoha, if only to see for herself what happened to her old friend. If all was well and her first hypothesis was validated, it meant one less thing to worry about, and she would have more time to plan and act. Hopefully, she came back far enough in time so that she would only deal with the old man Sandaime – she loved her father, but really, after a month living in close quarter with him and dealing with his suspicions and threats, Naruto didn't think he would listen to her babbling about the future.

He would label her a certified nutcase, and she'd be dump in a cell – just because the weirdo was apparently too interested in her seal works and potent chakra to kill her this soon in the game. Tch.

Releasing a deep sigh, Naruto looked Minato right in the eyes and said, "I'll come. But there's still a problem."

He frowned, aptly concealing his relief at her answer. "And what would it be?"

Naruto bit her lip. She didn't know what events already occurred, but it was a safe bet to assume tensions were already there between the nations. The time traveler chose her next words carefully.

"I'm a foreigner, and even tough I'm not affiliated to any ninja village, I highly doubt Konoha would welcome me with open arms – no Kage wants an unknown, trained shinobi in his ranks, that would be asking for trouble. I don't want to risk our lives," at that, she touched her belly to emphasize her point, "even though your offer is quite tempting. I need reassurance that no harm will come to me – to _us._ "

There was a long minute of silence as Minato crossed his fingers together under his chin, contemplative. His clear eyes held a calculating glint in them, and when he finally drew breath to talk, Naruto knew she wouldn't like what he had to say.

"I may have a solution, but you're not going to like it."

His voice had taken a hoarse quality to it, betraying his calm composure – maybe Minato himself didn't really like what he was about to propose? Naruto narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips before shrugging. It wouldn't cost her anything to at least hear him out. "I'm listening."

"Be my wife."

It wasn't even a question so much as a blunt statement, delivered so matter-of-factly that Naruto could only splutter in surprise, eyes wide as saucers. She tried to laugh it off – because, surely, her _father_ couldn't be serious about his _godamned proposal_ – but Minato raised his voice, talking over her hysterical protests.

"It actually makes sense. Think about it: you'll be linked to a powerful, extremely loyal ninja of the Leaf," he explained as her voice died down and her eyes kept staring at him in horror. "Sure, there will be suspicion, but you'll be accepted nonetheless because of my status. Besides, the Hokage would actually be thrilled by the prospect."

As he spoke, Minato slowly grew more and more convinced that this was actually a perfect plan. It served both his selfish reasons – i.e., being able to study more closely the intriguing kunoichi and a way of repaying his life debt by taking care of her reckless, pregnant self – and political ones – the Council was nagging him for an heir to kick-start what could become a Namikaze clan in Konoha, and marrying a foreign, skilled kunoichi could pave the way to a peace treaty between two fearsome villages.

It definitely was a brilliant plan, the shinobi smirked inwardly.

But Naruto was clearly not of the same opinion. "How?!" she yelled, slamming several times her hand on the table, as if to hammer down her points. "He'd see one of his most formidable shinobi married to a foreigner hailing from enemy territory! He could accuse me of trying to sway you towards another hidden village, and I'd be executed!"

Not that she thought the Sandaime heartless, but come on – everybody knew he only started to mellow down once the Third Shinobi War had ended and Minato had been made the Fourth. At this moment of the timeline, for all Naruto knew, Hiruzen could be merciless and relying heavily on Danzo's more radical opinions.

"Because we'll say you're from Kumo," he stated nonchalantly while nodding his head, as if it should suddenly make sense.

To Naruto, it didn't, only serving to confuse her more. "What a great idea," she sneered, "let's tell him I'm from a village that has a notoriously bad history with Konoha! Splendid job. Namikaze – are you actually trying to get me _killed_?" And she was serious with that question, too. It would indeed explain the man's dumb ideas...

Minato scowled, and Naruto felt like he was staring at her with a judgmental look screaming 'idiot'. The man went on to explain in a teacher-like tone, "It would be seen as a great alliance, actually. An act of peace between Kumo and Konoha."

"I don't see how. Call me dumb, but I really can't make the connections," the kunoichi yelled, getting frustrated. She raked a hand through her disheveled hair and grimaced when it caught on a knot. Absentmindedly, she noted that it was high time to get a haircut, or to at least have a date with a trusty brush.

On the other side of the table, a thoughtful Minato crossed his arms while leaning back in his chair, assessing the flailing kunoichi in front of him. It couldn't be that she was that oblivious, he thought. Still, curious, he inquired, "Naruto-san… Have you been living under a rock?"

She hissed an insult at him while blushing furiously, clearly refusing to answer the question. Surprised, Minato arched his eyebrows. "I can't believe you're serious… It makes more sense, now."

"No, it doesn't," she muttered, sorely tempted to kick his shin under the table. Her mind was still whirling with his impromptu proposal and arguments, and she rued Kurama's absence as much as she blessed it – on one hand, the fox would've told her what to do, on the other hand, he would've surely laughed his ass off while spouting crude remarks about inbreeding. Naruto almost gagged at the unwelcomed thought.

Unaware of her torment, Minato started to explain, "I, myself, am not originally from Konoha. I was born in Kumo, and lived there for the first five years of my life."

And that was all it took for Naruto's mind to come to a screeching halt, leaving her gaping at the man she was supposed to know inside out – one, because he was her _freaking_ dad, two, because he'd been her idol while growing up. That was _so_ _not_ written in the Academy's history books! Or she had been skipping class that day. Or snoozing. But still. How could she have missed that information?!

"I'm the illegitimate son of the late Raikage," the blond continued, unbothered by the kunoichi's evident surprise. "My mother was a civilian with no family to speak of. She let herself be seduced and became the Kage's mistress for a short while. When he made it clear that I was never to be considered his son, she decided to leave the Land of Lightning and settled down in the Land of Fire."

Okay.

Naruto _really_ needed time to process that.

Because she didn't see it coming. Come on. She couldn't have snoozed through that lesson too! Was she _that_ oblivious to her own genealogy?! Oh God… it could explain why Bee had always been fond of her, or why Ay, though full of disdain, actually gave her a chance to prove her worth…

She was going to be sick, and it had nothing to do with her baby mastering their taijutsu skills by using her insides as a practice dummy.

Eventually, Naruto could only nod, gulping down her nausea before clearing her throat out, trying to take control over her trembling voice. When she felt more at ease, she asked, still dumbfounded, "But… don't you already have m— I mean, a significant other?"

Surely Minato was already infatuated with her mom at this point of the story. Heck, they should already be dating, and thinking about tying the knot! _Something was wrong_ , Naruto thought with dread.

It was confirmed when the future Hokage shook his head, unconcerned. "I'm unattached. In fact, you would do me a great service by accepting my proposal, it would save me the bother of finding a suitable bride to please my leader."

"I… don't even know what to say," Naruto choked out.

Did it mean that Kushina and Minato started dating just because of the Council's pressure? It looked like it, at least, what with the man's obvious disinterest in settling down… God, her life was so fucked up. She should totally wash her hands of this whole mess, let history happens, and live like a hermit in the woods. Too bad her sense of justice was too big to be ignored...

The blond male shrugged, further proving how much he didn't care about his own personal life. Instead, he launched into an elaborate explanation on why this plan could work for real.

"There's a tradition among Kumo's less thriving clans – to avoid family feuds, children are betrothed at a young age. This way, heirs can focus on their career and education instead of gallivanting around, lovesick. That's why Kumo's percentage of kunoichi is so high – women from these small clans are already aware of their future marital life, and wish to devote as much time as possible to their career before having to step down to fulfill their duty."

Meaning, giving a future heir to pass down their legacy. Privately, Naruto wondered if that was why Ino chose a path that would see her confined inside Konoha's walls, and why Hinata completely resigned from the forces…

"Of course, if a better match is found, the betrothal can be broken," Minato continued as he stood up, moving towards the stove. He put the kettle on the lit stove, measuring the amount of tea leaves he put in the water.

"I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at," Naruto lied. She swallowed through the lump in her throat, hoping to God her father wasn't going to say what she knew he would say.

A metallic clang came from the kettle as Minato closed the lid and hummed, his back facing her.

"We'll say we were betrothed while I still lived in Kumo, and that my mother broke the contract once she decided to move away. I was sent on a long term mission in the Land of Rice, three years ago, and this is where we met again."

As Minato turned around, his eyes trailed up and down her body. There was no lust in the action, just curiosity and contemplation. He sat down next to her this time, his arm almost brushing against hers. Naruto leaned away, but he clamped a hand on her elbow, pulling her towards him as he continued, "We fell in love, and decided to fulfill the betrothal. Me, because I wanted to rekindle with my brothers. You, because you wished to escape Kumo after your last family member died."

It had been a shot in the dark, but the lack of flinch from the kunoichi confirmed his theory of the woman being an orphan. It would make their plan easier to follow.

"You said you were halfway through your eighth month, right?" at her nod, he hummed, satisfied. "That coincides perfectly with my last mission when I was in the Land of Waves for a month. Here is how the story goes: we've been keeping in touch all these years, and since you're adept at traveling, we decided to meet up during my stay in Waves. I left without knowing about your pregnancy, and you were only able to get in touch with me recently. That would explain the Hokage why I asked for a leave."

All throughout his explanation, Naruto had been nodding along, until his last remark. "Wait, what? When did you ask for a leave?"

"When I could finally access my chakra without the fear of blowing myself up and was finally able to send a toad back to the village."

Naruto squinted at him, still trying to slip away from his unyielding grasp. "So you lied, and tricked your way into staying in my home. Did you… did you plan this all along?!"

Minato seemed unrepentant as he titled his head to the side, not really answering. Finally, he said, "I did plan to stay longer, because you puzzle me and I want to decipher you – you're challenging. The idea of marrying you is pretty new, I assure you."

Fed up, she finally snapped as she tugged at her arm without success, "Would you stop this?!"

He shook his head, instead snaking an arm around her shoulders. It was a heavy weight keeping her still despite the light grip. It made her situation all the more real, and Naruto felt faint.

"How are we supposed to make this work if you're so uncomfortable when I touch you?" Minato reasoned, his breath tickling her nape.

"It's never gonna work, anyway," she muttered, refusing to look at his too close face.

"Why is that? I know we get on each other's nerves, but it's pretty usual in ninja families – keeps us on our toes."

 _Because you're my father, I can't marry my father!_ Naruto wanted to scream. Was it suicide, if she married him and thus made sure she would never be born? A sneakier, and morbid part of her whispered that she could always marry him, and encourage him to have an affair with Kushina. She told that part to shut the fuck up.

Too lost in her turmoil, she never noticed how Minato started idly playing with the shorter hair curling around her neck, long fingers weaving a dark, gold lock around them.

"What of my baby? People will _see_ you're not the father," Naruto breathed out, thinking about silver hair and alabaster skin. The child was doomed to resemble at least a bit their grandfather, but not enough to be mistaken for a pair of child and parent.

"I'm a seal master. It's an easy enough issue to solve," the man whispered back, feeling the slim shoulders slump down in defeat.

"I'm never giving you an heir," the woman stated in the stilted air.

Minato only smiled, a soft, gentle curve on his angular face, all trace of cunning absent from his face. "Your child will be mine, too. I won't ask of you anything you're not ready to give."

"Because it's just a marriage of convenience, right? In name only, huh?"

He didn't miss the need of reassurance in the woman's voice, and Minato slowly led her to rest her head against his chest. Her brow softly bumped against his collarbone, and she shakily sighed.

"Exactly. So no need to worry, alright?"

 _What am I doing? What am I doing, what am I doing…_ Naruto groaned, and face still pressed in her father's chest, she rose a fist. "Friends?"

She didn't hear the chuckles, but she felt their vibrations under her cheek. He bumped his fist against hers, and gladly replied, "Friends."

They stayed a long moment like this, wrapped around each other in the silent kitchen. The kettle whistled, and with a sigh, Minato stood up to serve it, not forgetting to put an ungodly amount of sugar in Naruto's mug.

After he handed it to her, the blond man gingerly sat down, happy for the new milestone in their relationship. He sipped on his hot mint tea, just as Naruto blurted out, a faraway look in her eyes as she clasped her mug between her hands, "So you really are a bastard, huh?"

Minato's face soured instantly and he froze with his mug against his lips while Naruto smiled sheepishly at her new friend.

She _really_ needed a brain to mouth filter.

_To be continued..._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I just like dropping bombs like that on my unsuspecting readers!
> 
> Before you ask: NO, NARUTO IS NOT EXPECTING TWINS. I use "them/their" because it'd be weird to call the baby "it", and I don't want to give hints about their gender by saying "he/his" or "she/her". So "they" it is.
> 
> To answer a recurrent question from my readers on FFNET: NO, I CAN'T TELL YOU ANYTHING ABOUT KUSHINA! But you're welcome to make guesses, it's always fun! :)
> 
> And about Minato being related to the Raikage: It's actually a headcanon that I love. I first read about it in a fanfic where Sasuke was Naruto's sensei and she was, at one point, kidnapped by Kumo. Since that day, I just can't stop imagining Minato as a Kumo ninja.
> 
> Thanks a lot for reading, chaps! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as the last one ;)


	7. Chapter 07

Things had been oddly… good.

They still bickered, but it was more in a teasing way than a hurtful one. Naruto had missed this kind of companionship – just being able to laugh with a friend, to not watch your back all the time. It had been weird to go back to her old habits of keeping to herself. She hadn’t liked it one bit, too used to human warmth or her furry little problem grumbling constantly in the back of her mind. Minato wasn’t as boisterous as her old friends (and it still hurt thinking about them, subconsciously seeking their ghosts in the corners of a room when something made her snicker) but his dry wit and warm grins made up for it.

When one of his slanted smiles was directed at her, it was always followed by a large hand on her shoulder or arm. At first, Naruto shied away from the gesture – too unfamiliar, too heavy with connotation – but the more Minato touched her, the more starved she was for the innocent touches. As a child, she never had the luxury of getting hugged or being comforted by a parent. This time around, her father – though young – was at her sides, reaching for her without a second thought and easily dishing out his affection.

However, the second Naruto would think about that so-called affection, her blood would run cold and her shoulders would stiffen. They were not just a man and a woman. They had to behave a certain way, and Naruto couldn’t let the shinobi lull himself into believing that this marriage would be fruitful. _This isn’t healthy_ , a voice resembling Sakura kept whispering in her ear. _A disaster waiting to happen._

That’s why less than a week into their new routine, as they were lounging outside, Naruto said, “Hey. You’re not expecting us to have sex, right?”

She tried to act nonchalant while saying that, but she could feel how her face was burning and knew her cheeks must be cherry-red. She coughed in her fist to try and compose herself before chancing a glance at Minato – surely he’d be even more embarrassed than her. She remembered how Kushina told her what a ‘pussy’ he’d been while alive!

What greeted her instead was a smirk and arched eyebrow, something akin to challenge in the male’s icy blue eyes. Naruto choked on her saliva, wondering if someone could faint from too much blood rushing to the head.

“What are you smiling for, you idiot?!” she screeched, subconsciously backing away from him.

The smirk grew larger. “Oh my, oh my,” he simpered suggestively, heavily batting his lashes, “with such an expression, I would almost think that you’re asking to be ravished, Naruto-san!”

“Quit joking around! I’m not! I was just making sure we’re on the same page,” the kunoichi grumbled, refusing to look away from his face even though her awkwardness was written all over hers.

“Well”, Minato began with a serious look, “I’m a healthy young man. I have my needs.”

His suggestive tone ruined his seriousness, and Naruto punched his arm while he chuckled. It was always like this: she would try to have a conversation like good, responsible adults, and he would humor her for a few minutes before having his fun, always deflecting her worried questions with lewd comments or sarcasm.

“Be serious. Please.”

Maybe it was her concerned frown that made him yield, or maybe it was a good day and Minato didn’t feel like stringing her along for hours. He sighed while massaging his hurt arm, his gaze never leaving Naruto’s.

“I wasn’t entirely joking. I have no idea how our relationship will evolve, after all.”

She swallowed through the lump in her throat, frowning ever harder than before. “We’re only friends. We’re not a real couple.”

Minato leant back on his hands, the grass tickling his bare wrists. His eyes went down the length of Naruto’s body, stopping at her belly. He kept looking at her enlarged stomach as he said in a low voice, “What if we become more?”

“No.”

Her reply was instantaneous, delivered in a clipped voice as she straightened her back and shoulders, fingers clamped around her knees so tight that they grew white.

Instead of the arguments or annoyance she was ready to face, Minato smiled – all sweet and closed eyes, head slightly tilted so that his long bangs tickled his pointy chin. Then he opened his eyes to a slit, like a panther scrutinizing its next meal.

“Time will tell, I guess,” he settled for, getting up to his feet.

He offered his hand to help her up, and Naruto turned her head away from him, her arms crossed around her chest. He waited a bit, but when she made no move, Minato shrugged and put his hands in his pockets.

“I sent a message to my brother – Bee. He agreed to meet us in the forest.”

“Us?” Naruto begrudgingly inquired.

“Yes. He has to meet my wife if he’s to testify of your origins when asked.”

Not ‘if asked’. So Minato fully expected their union to be questioned, and for Naruto to be suspected of falsehood. She ignored the churning in her stomach at the word ‘wife’.

“Come back inside in an hour,” Minato demanded, his tone brooking no debate. “I’ll have a meal ready for you – we need to put some meat on you, otherwise I’ll be accused of neglecting my pregnant wife.”

“You’re going to make me gag,” she sneered. “You’re way too fond of this word…”

This earned her an amused chuckle as Minato made his way back to the cottage. “It’s so that you can get used to it, Naruto-san!” he called over his shoulder.

And also because it was funny to see her cringe. But he would keep that piece of information to himself.

 

 

 

“How long are you gonna make me walk, man? My feet are killing me, ya know,” Naruto huffed, glaring at Minato’s back while putting her hands on her lower back in the hope to alleviate some of the weight pushing her belly down.

It was humiliating to see how her stamina had so rapidly decreased in the last week. She blamed Minato’s insistence on fattening her up and practically forbidding her to train. His argument was that an ANBU ranked captain was plenty enough to deal with any threat coming their way. A punch in the guts was her angry answer – though she would never admit that she had to nurse her aching knuckles for hours afterwards, while Minato condescendingly cooed at her attempt to ‘play tough’.

When Minato didn’t reply, the woman felt irrational anger boil through her veins. Deep down, Naruto knew it was her hormones fucking her over, but she couldn’t bring herself to care – she was hurting, she was sweating, she felt gross, and the baby kept kicking her back. Now the prick was ignoring her, and she wanted to scream and punch and crawl into a hole to hide away from the world.

She was about to launch a dirty attack at the ninja’s back when Minato suddenly stopped and whirled around. Without comprehending why or how, Naruto found herself on the ground; Minato crouched in front of her as he threw three kunai at the top of a tree.

They were deflected by shuriken and Minato slowly got up, fists clenched at his sides.

“Is that how you greet your brother, you little wanker?”

“Do I need to cut that tongue of yours so that you learn some manners, Bee?”

The leaves in the tree rustled and Bee hoped down from where he was hiding, soundlessly jumping on nearby rocks so that he could still look down on the newcomers. He crossed his arms, staring at the two blonds behind his shades, and Naruto used that time to study her old friend. He hadn’t changed much through the years – aside from his wrinkle-free face and the lack of tattoo on his cheek. She wondered if it was because he wasn’t already friends with the Hachibi.

With a jolt of realization, she focused on him and tried to reach for the demon. But the longer she prodded at the man, the more confused she grew. There was no demonic chakra. With a sigh, she came back to reality. Maybe it was because Kurama wasn’t in her anymore, that she couldn’t feel his brethren. Her sadness was quickly washed out with Bee’s loud voice.

“Who’s the preggo chick? Don’t tell me it’s the fruit of your dic—“

“One more crude word out of your mouth and you’ll go back to Kumo with sewed lips,” Minato cut the man off, a vein throbbing at his temple.

Bee pursed his lips, as if weighing the cons and pros, before sighing and scratching at his beard. “It was all for the rhyme, yo! Still, you didn’t answer the question, bro.”

“This,” at that, he gently pulled Naruto forward, a hand between her shoulder blades, “is my wife, Naruto. She’s the reason I called you here.”

All at once, Bee’s expression soured and he crouched down on his rock, gesturing with one hand at the kunoichi.

“Where does she come from? Is it a little girl from back home?”

The way he said ‘home’ with so much scorn obviously meant ‘Konoha’. Unthinkingly, Naruto was about to proudly yell ‘you betcha!’, but Minato’s hand slid down her back to her hip and squeezed warningly. ‘Let me do the talking,’ she understood.

“Actually, Naruto-san is from Kumo. Unfortunately, in the incapacity of meeting myself the Raikage to ask for the needed documents, I thought you would be so kind as to legally construct our wedding contract.”

“Minato, come on! You know big bro would be delighted to see you back where you belong. Married to a Kumo citizen, at that!”

In his excitement, Bee had forgone all rapping rimes and even jumped off the rock, arms wide open as if to embrace his long lost brother and new wife.

“I’m never coming back – Kumo isn’t where I belong anymore. I’m a mere bastard, remember?”

This stopped Bee on his tracks, arms slowly going down, and a frown pulling at his brows. He looked genuinely upset at Minato’s calm words.

“Ay doesn’t care,” Bee tried. “He adopted me – a nobody – into the family.”

A wry chuckle came from the exiled shinobi. “Don’t think too high of yourself – you’re my replacement, that’s all.”

Shocked by the callous words, Naruto harshly elbowed him. “Hey! That’s not cool!”

He frowned at her but didn’t say anything in rebuttal. Bee didn’t look hurt, meaning it wasn’t the first time they had this particular conversation. Still, it didn’t make it alright to say such awful things.

“Apologize,” she hissed. “Apologize, or I’m gonna kick your ass so hard you’ll be able to taste the rubber of my sandal on the back of your tongue.”

Minato dubiously looked from her face, then to her belly, but refrained from making any derogatory comment. Instead, he squared his shoulders and, chin held high, droned, “I’m sorry for saying you’re a replacement, even though I only stated known facts.”

A lopsided grin stretched Bee’s lips. “I see the sass still hasn’t been beaten outta your weak ass.”

“I could say the same about your stupidity,” was Minato’s reply, accompanied by his now infamous sickly sweet smile and tone.

This earned him a new elbow in the side, and Bee’s grin widened. “I like your wife, she’s got bite! But tell me, why should I let you two go, instead of dragging you to Kumo?”

“Politics. Think about it – a union between a Kumo citizen and me, an exiled sharing the Raikage’s blood at Konoha’s service? This would mean a long peace between our countries. New opportunities, too.”

“What opportunities? We need nothing from Konoha nins.”

It wasn’t entirely true – the Land of Lightening could do with new cattle, while the Land of Fire could do with new harvesting techniques. But these weren’t what Minato had in mind to make Bee more inclined to go against Ay’s direct orders to capture the stray bastard brother in sight.

“As you can see, my wife is pregnant. Having a family made me open my eyes on certain matters… And I realized that I wouldn’t be opposed to reconcile with my brothers. I don’t want for Naruto to forever forsake her home country because of me, and I don’t want my child to never know of his origins.”

If Bee hadn’t been wearing his shades, Naruto is sure she would’ve seen his eyes pop wide open, like his mouth did. He truly seemed shocked by his brother’s words, and he had to clear his voice twice before being able to say anything.

“Really?”

There was so much hope in the word that Naruto felt tears well up in her eyes. It was like watching one of the drama-filled movies Ino loved, but this time, Naruto didn’t find it silly. Maybe it was because she knew the people in front of her – had laughed and fought and bled with them. And it was the first time in her whole life that she’d seen Bee so affected by a simple promise.

“Yes. But for that to work, we need to go slow. No attacking me and trying to bring me back to Ay.”

Nodding eagerly, Bee pumped his fists in the air. “Brother’s gonna be so happy! We’re gonna be a true family!”

“Not right now,” Minato stressed again, rubbing two fingers against his left temple. Dealing with Bee always caused him headaches.

“Yes, yes,” the Kumo ninja easily dismissed. “So what is it you need? A marriage contract explaining you did the deed?”

“More precisely, it has to be a contract dating back from when my mother was alive. I don’t want people in Konoha questioning my union and its respectability. Naruto is clanless, you see? An orphan taken in by a wanderer when she was younger. She never lived in Kumo, always on the outskirts.”

“I see, I see. I’ll draw up somethin’ and send a duplicate to Konoha’s archives. Official enough for ya?”

“Wonderfully so. And keep it quiet, alright? I don’t need Ay to be aware of it until my Hokage is.”

Bee frowned, but agreed. Ay would act irrationally if he knew his bastard brother had made another bastard, and was keeping the kid away from Kumo on top of that. Hopefully, the promise of Minato wanting to build back their broken bonds will help smother the inevitable wrath of the Raikage.

With that, Bee took three big steps and folded his arms around his brother, enclosing him in a tight embrace. “It was good seein’ you, Minato. Even though you’re still an ass.”

“Yeah, yeah, feeling’s reciprocated. Let go of me, now.”

With one last squeeze, the Konoha shinobi was released and he deftly pulled Naruto behind his back when Bee tried to smother her in an embrace.

“She doesn’t need you to induce her labor with one of your death hug.”

The other man laughed, as if Minato just made a good joke. After one last farewell, he took his leave, and Minato waited a few minutes, head tilted on the side and eyes narrowed. When he was sure they were alone, he turned around and reached his arms towards the silent kunoichi.

“What are you doing, weirdo? Keep your arms to yourself.”

“Your feet hurt, and we have a long journey ahead of us.”

Naruto’s first reaction – and she blames it on her crazy hormones – was to feel moved that the man had actually been listening to her and was aware that her swollen ankles were slowly killing her. This reaction was quickly forgotten when her ninja side took over her doped brain. _A journey?_ The cottage might be far, true, but not enough to consider their walk back home a journey. Something was tickling Naruto’s senses and she frowned.

“I can walk thirty minutes. At worst, we’ll make a few pauses.”

“We’re not going there.”

“Er, yes we are.”

An annoyed tick developed on Minato’s right eyebrow, and Naruto crossed her arms before dropping on the rock Bee had previously invaded.

“Look, _hubby_ ,” she said the word with mockery, an echo of Minato’s annoying ‘wife’, “if you want _this_ – whatever this is – to work, you need to communicate. I’m not a brainless doll you can cart around whenever you please.”

Minato sighed but nodded nonetheless.

“Alright. We’re going back to Konoha. I don’t trust Bee to actually be able to keep his mouth shut for long. It would be best for us to be home before any news of your pregnancy gets out – Ay won’t let a potential Kumo ninja slip through his fingers.”

He reached out for her again, fingers wiggling. “Now jump in my arms.”

Now she understood why the cottage had looked emptier than usual. The sneaky bastard had taken advantage of her sulking to store what he deemed important in seals, already preparing their getaway. She was glad war had taught her to always carry her most important possessions with her.

With a huff, she uncrossed her arms and begrudgingly said, “I don’t know if it’s a good idea. My former doctor… She told me to avoid brisk movements towards the end of my pregnancy. I don’t think tree hopping is safe.”

A smile blossomed on the man’s lips. Like this, he looked like the carefree, joyful dad she knew.

“Good, we’re not tree hopping,” he said as he showed her a pronged kunai.

She had given him back his pouch of weapons when they made their deal, and truth be told, she had never taken the time to look through it. Mouth agape, she looked at the famed kunai with envy. Just by looking at the careful calligraphy on the tag, she knew that this was the work of a meticulous genius – which she wasn’t. And this, she thought, was the key to unlock her own faulty seal. This was the key _home_.

Swallowing through the lump in her throat, she mumbled, “Not sure my nausea will agree with flashing through the world…”

“You’re not the first pregnant woman I would’ve helped travelled with my Hiraishin. Don’t worry – I wouldn’t put my child’s life in danger.”

It took a few seconds for Naruto’s brain to actually catch up with the meaning of the words. Because she wasn’t the child he was speaking about – though she nearly had a heart attack at first, thinking her identity was found.

No. He was talking about her own baby.

“Not yours. Mine,” she breathed out, feeling primitive.

There it was again – that hungry glint in his eyes as he stared at her belly.

“Yes, but mine too. I’m not marrying you only on paper. This child will me mine to nurture, mine to educate.”

He crouched down; facing her as he gently splayed his broad hands over her bulging stomach. “Is it that much of a bad thing? To give them a father – is it bad?”

“No,” she mumbled.

Because Naruto knew what it was like to grow up without parents, but it didn’t mean that she would let her father screw with the universe by being a good Samaritan. This was a man who still hadn’t fallen in love, who saw nothing really worthy on this Earth, attaching himself out of misplaced pity to an unborn life and its inept, reckless mother.

This was not his duty.

His duty was to marry Kushina, to become Hokage, and to have his own child. _Her – Naruto_.

“Minato,” she began, and he lifted up his head, shocked. This was the first time she called him by his name, and it felt weird – unnatural. “I think you’re getting ahead of yourself. When we’ll be in Konoha, you’ll see that all this? This is not what you’re destined for, okay?”

There was a long silence, before Minato smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes, and his fingers clenched lightly around her stomach before letting go. “Time will tell, I guess.”

It was an echo of their earlier conversation, and Naruto felt like butting heads with a wall. There was no point in trying to make him see reason. She sighed, got up, and let the man carry her with one arm, belly pressed against his chest as she hold onto his neck, legs dangling from his crooked elbow.

When she gave her assent, he threw his pronged kunai with a burst of wind chakra, and like that, they flew through the continent and countries, until they reached Konoha’s gates. At most, it had taken an hour – far less than the two days of non-stop running required to eat away such a distance.

True to his words, she didn’t feel like throwing up and the baby didn’t fuss. Still, she felt much better with her two feet on the ground and away from Minato’s arms. It was obviously not the case for the man who absentmindedly put a hand on her back and guided her through the gates as the guards and Minato exchanged hellos.

“Yo, touchy-feely much, old man?” she hissed through clenched teeth as they stepped into the village.

This only caused him to slide his hand lower down her back, his awfully sweet smile fully on. “You really need to get used to it, because nobody’s going to believe I won’t feel protective or possessive of my _pregnant_ _wife_.”

Still, she pulled his arm off her and was about to viciously insult him when a voice screeched, “MI-NA-TOOOO!!!”

The man immediately stiffened while Naruto scowled. She could swear she knew that voice.

Villagers hurriedly plastered themselves to nearby walls, getting as far away as possible from the two blondes as thundering footsteps were heard. To the civilian eye – and even to some ninja’s – it looked like a red blur stormed through the street, before it jumped on a still Minato.

Arms snaked around the man, holding him close as violet eyes peeked over his shoulder at the shocked blond girl.

Annoyance appeared instantly on the pale red-haired face. “I can’t leave you alone one second, can I?” came a deep, weary voice, before lips were mashed together.

Through all that, Minato stayed limp, and Naruto looked on with a mix of elation – because this was her _mother, kissing her father_ – and worry – Kushina sounded a bit ill, and even her body looked slimmer.

Violet eyes sought hers again, confusion replacing earlier annoyance. Mouth still against Minato’s, Kushina said, “Dude… I think that one’s a pervert or something.”

Then Minato’s hand roughly met Kushina’s face as he pulled her off him. “The only pervert I see is you.”

“The nerve of you! You’re the one who came up with that tactic!”

“ _Once_ ,” Minato refuted, cheeks tinged with a faint pink, “you’re the one who decided that every time a girl was nearby, it was a good idea to molest me…”

The banter was lost on Naruto’s ears as she dumbly stared at her parents.

This was not the enamored or even friendly Minato she had hoped to see.

And this _definitely_ was _not_ the Kushina she had expected.

Because this Kushina had no breasts. And an Adam apple to go with her rough, deep voice and angular face.

Her mom was a man.

As was her dad.

Like… _What?_

Her mind still in the midst of breaking down, Minato chose that moment to turn towards her, still keeping the Uzumaki away from him as the red-haired try to punch him in the face.

“Naruto-san, this is an acquaintance of mine – Kujin Uzumaki.”

He was cut off by the man yelling, “Best friend, asshole! Not mere acquaintance, you should be grateful, believe it!”

The blond man sighed and continued in a bored tone, “Kujin, this is my wife. Refrain yourself from slobbering all over me from now on, thank you.”

“Wait. Since when are you married? And I wasn’t invited? You douche!”

This time, his punch caught Minato’s shoulder who sighed once more, already feeling drained. He had forgotten how dealing with the Uzumaki was so exhausting. Come to think of it, Naruto was kind of similar – but tamer. He inwardly wondered if it was a good idea for the two fiery tempers to meet.

For the first time, Kujin examined his friend’s wife, a wide smile stretching his lips – until he caught sight of her stomach. Smile frozen into place but eyes wide open, he asked out loud, “Dude, is she, like, pregnant? Or is she… you know… fat?”

In a far corner of her mind, there was a calm Naruto actually trying to make sense of the situation. The only reasonable answer she came up with was that, besides her fucked up time stamp; her space stamp had obviously been erroneous. Meaning that she didn’t just travel back in time – she actually managed to do the impossible and _hop through fucking dimensions_. Naruto was the stupidest accidental genius ever.

That’s it, Naruto’s brain decided. Time to black out.

And she gladly did so.

_To be continued..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many bombs does this make in one chapter? Two? Three? I lost the count!
> 
> BOOM! Surprised? I hope you are. It was hilarious to plot this.
> 
> Not many have guessed the ‘hopping through dimensions’ thing, and I think that nobody here found out about Kushina being a male. I've got to admit: it was pretty hard to keep my mouth shut, but I'm glad I did :D
> 
> Anyway! I hope you enjoyed that chapter.
> 
> ALSO!!! THANK YOU for being so patient. I love you guys, you're the most amazing readers on the WHOOOOLE Internet!


	8. Chapter 8

In a fast move, Minato caught the falling Naruto and hoisted her into his arms. She was completely out, head lolling lifelessly until he properly propped her against his chest, her nose bumping into the hollow of his throat. He frowned when he felt her hot forehead against his bare skin – she was a bit too warm.

 _Fever_ , he thought with an annoyed click of the tongue. What a moron. If she was exhausted, why didn't she say anything? It was one thing to whine about swollen ankles, but another to let your energy run dry. Minato sighed – from what he knew of the woman, there would be a lot more situations like this one in the near future. Sometimes, he had to wonder if he had some masochistic tendencies – what with his dubious choice in friends and his recent marriage to an unknown kunoichi as oblivious as Kakashi in the matters of health.  _Great._

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the disbelieving exclamation coming from his right, Kujin leaning towards the unconscious blonde with undisguised curiosity in his narrowed eyes. "I know I'm handsome, but that's a first! Guess I can check 'making girls faint from too much sexiness' on my bucket list," he mused out loud, a finger ready to poke at the scarred cheeks.

Minato swiftly stepped aside and the redhead smirked. "Relax, I can safely say I'm not interested in your little toy. I like them brand new." He gave a long look at the large belly, winking at the other ninja.

Had Naruto not been pregnant, Minato would've unceremoniously dropped her to the ground and put a Rasengan in Kujin's face – it turned out that this was the easiest way to shut him up. Instead, he glowered while the other man laughed obnoxiously, using Minato's impediment to poke him hard on the cheek, viciously digging his finger into the soft flesh beneath the cheekbone. This would undoubtedly leave a bruise.

"You know I'm going to pound your ass into the ground afterwards, right?" the blond gritted out between two pokes, trying to rein in his anger. The villagers were already giving them sideway-glances, and he didn't want to attract more attention on Naruto. Not while she was unconscious.

He instantly regretted his choice of words as Kujin leered at him, rapidly batting his eyelashes. "Oh, Minato-chan! Who knew getting a wife would make you so forward in your advances? When people will know we're having an affair, what will they say? Oh, dearie me." With that, he mock-swooned, fanning himself.

This started to make some people speak in low voices, eyes jerking from the two blonds to the loud Uzumaki who was now winking at a group of young, blushing Chuunin.

There was a tick developing at Minato's left eyebrow, and his hands were trembling on Naruto's body. Satisfied with his shenanigans and slightly concerned that the man would end up harming the unconscious stranger because of him, Kujin finally relented his teasing and adopted a more serious expression.

"Should we go to the hospital, or would you rather care for her on your own? By the way, the old man wants to see you as soon as possible."

It was no secret in the village that shinobi hated the hospital and avoided it with a passion – even more so when they came from a prominent bloodline. Who knew what they did with their blood, and what kind of information they would give if under duress… Minato was no exception, and even went so far as to stock his house with medicine and first aid necessities just to not spend more time than necessary in the aseptic place. The only medic-nin he trusted with his life was his student. Maybe he should ask Rin if she was knowledgeable in pregnancies…

A sigh left his lips. Paranoia could really be hindering in the everyday life… Even though he suspected a slight fever due to exertion, he'd rather get a professional opinion and make sure everything was fine with the baby. He didn't have time to hunt Rin down, and she was a field medic – this was not really up her alley. Unconsciously, his hold on Naruto got uncomfortably tighter, and he almost jumped out of his skin when he felt a hard kick against his ribs, followed by another. Naruto moaned but didn't arouse. Slowly, he relaxed his grip.

No more kicking.

Huh. What a strange way to communicate. A bit like him and his brothers, really – using punches instead of words. He'll have to remedy that; Naruto would surely bash his head on a stove if the kid grew up to be too much of a jerk, though it seemed pretty much unavoidable, what with both parents being slightly unhinged.

Minato took a second to let wonder fill him – he was going to be a father in a month, he was going to get a family,  _finally_! – before tearing his eyes away from the woman's belly. He caught sight of Kujin's raised eyebrows and cleared out his throat to regain his stoic composure.

"Hospital," he said as he started walking towards the building. "Naruto-san hadn't been to the doctor in quite a while… Who knows what's going on with the baby." He'd ignore the fact that Sarutobi wanted to see him for now – he was sure the man would understand when he'd receive a missive from the gate guards stating that a stranger registered under the name of 'Naruto Namikaze'.

Kujin cringed as he followed his colleague and friend, arms crossed behind his head. "The baby," he repeated, repressing a shudder. "Bleh! That's  _weird_ , man."

Minato sighed. "You're such a child…"

 

 

 

The nurses, for once, had been professional and kept their hands far from his private areas – though one had misty eyes when he claimed that the pregnant blond woman was his wife, and that he expected them to treat her with due respect and the utmost care. Hopefully, his fanbase would leave him alone now.

Naruto was lying in a comfortable bed, Minato looking like a hawk between the nurse's – Momo, she had cheerfully presented herself – hands and the large belly, questioning each and every movement the medic did. At first, Momo-san had been endeared by his actions – it was always fun to watch a soon-to-be father from the sinobi ranks fretting over his spouse and unborn child – but quickly grew annoyed, a bland, fake smile thinly stretching her lips as Kujin snickered in the background.

"Well," she finally said, stepping away from the blond woman, "everything seems to be in order. Her blood pressure is a bit high, and she needs to hydrate more. I'll take a sample of her blood for future references and check-up – if that's alright with you, Namikaze-san."

He nodded, and after double checking the patient's vitals, the nurse was ready to take her leave. "If you have more questions, I'll be happy to answer them."

Obviously, that was a lie and a formality. Momo-san was itching to just run out the door and spread the news through the hospital – that Namikaze Minato, Jounin extraordinaire, was definitely off the market.

Said Jounin broke her fantasy by approaching her, a notepad in hand – and where did he get it from? "Actually, I do," he said as he flipped the notepad open. "Thanks for offering to answer them. Should we step outside? I wouldn't want to disturb my wife's rest, and I'd like to go with you and make sure you dispose of her blood after entering the needed data."

Kujin groaned from where he was standing, pinching the bridge of his nose at the look of affront on the nurse's face. "Way to be blunt, man. You can't say that kind of shit to  _medics_ , Minato."

It wasn't the first time the blond man had put his foot in his mouth around the medical corps, and the redhead was sure that had Minato been anybody else – that is, a random shinobi not half as handsome as the migrant from Kumo – the hospital would've slapped him with an official ban long ago.

"We don't steal the blood of our patients, Namikaze-san," Momo-san gritted out, scowling. He may be a powerful and well-loved shinobi, it didn't mean he could insult their unit!

But Minato just looked on, bored, clicking several times a mechanical pencil, ready to take notes. "I'm not saying you do, I just want to make sure you don't." With that said he turned all business-like, striding towards the door and fully expecting the nurse to follow him – which she did, openly gaping at his nerve. "So, what kind of food would be the most appropriate at this stage of the pregnancy? She's past the eight-month mark, you know? And should I stop her from exercising? What about right after the birth?"

Momo-san fumbled, taken aback. "Um—well, er—"

The steady blue gaze of the ninja was unnerving, she found out. Momo-san didn't have the time to recollect herself as the man suddenly turned narrowed eyes on the Uzumaki who had been leaning against the windowpane. "I trust you," was all he said with a hint of threat in his voice, receiving a cheeky grin and wave in return. Having known each other for so long, it didn't take much more for Kujin to understand the meaning of Minato's words –  _make sure nothing happens to my wife, otherwise, there will be hell to pay_.

Then, with a huff, he walked out of the room, already asking where the laboratory was, and Momo hurried after him.

The door clicked shut behind them, and Minato's voice faded out amidst the nurse's overwhelmed stutters and meek protests.

Silence befell the room, only disrupted by the woman's peaceful breathing. Kujin's smile fell almost instantly, a frown etched on the youthful face. He crossed his arms and glared at the blond, readying himself for a long wait and stewing with questions. Who was she? What the hell was happening with his best friend? Why wasn't he aware of this marriage and the child on its way?

Something smelt fishy, here. Minato might act all annoyed and bothered, but he would never hide something so big from him.  _Never_.

Eyes closed, he let his mind wander, waiting for the enigma of a woman to wake up and give him some answers.

 

 

 

Her head felt heavy. Her whole body did, actually.

Distantly, she felt like she should be panicking – why was she lying down? Why couldn't she remember when she went to sleep? – but she felt too comfy for that.

Then, her brain decided to reboot on its own, and though she felt like grumbling, Naruto was glad to know that the vortex that was her mind would soon make sense again. With that, her eyes slowly blinked open before narrowing as a way to chase the burning feeling in her eyeballs. She could see a red blur, and something tingled in the back of her mind.

Something important.

Then it clicked.  _Kushina._

With a rush of realization, Naruto groggily raised her hands and roughly grabbed her mother by the chest.

_Pat, pat._

Huh.

Flat.  _Really_ flat.

"I can't wait to tell Minato his wife felt me up," a gruff voice holding a tinge of uncertainty mumbled. Then came a snort, "I knew she was a perv…"

That… was not her mom, right?

"… Mom?" Naruto still asked, blinking as her sight slowly adjusted to the bright lights.

Another snort. "Sorry girl, I've been intimate enough with my dick to know I don't have the necessary bits to shit out a child."

She blinked several more times to chase the blurriness as well as the confusion. Her eyes finally focused on a man with long burgundy hair whose purple eyes were looking at her like she was a new science project to dissect. He had a rugged appearance, toned arms bared for the world to see and his Jounin jacket opened on his mesh tank top. His face was angular and stubbly where Naruto knew it should've been round and smooth, and only the soft curve of the nose was familiar to her – it was one she was used to see in the mirror everyday.

Kujin Uzumaki. Her mom-turned-man. Her father-turned-husband's best friend.

Okay. That was weird and gross. She swore she could feel bile at the back of her throat. In the back of her mind, she idly wondered if it now meant she had two dads… A voice that sounded like Sakura told her she was stupid, and that genetically speaking, it was impossible. Another voice that sounded like Kiba snickered something about male pregnancies and ass-babies.

Feeling faint, Naruto reclined against her pillows. Maybe she should just go back to sleep and never wake up again. Yep. That sounded like a good idea.

Making herself comfortable, she crossed her hands on her belly – still round and hard, she noted with relief – and closed her eyes, ready to just go back in a comatose state, but the Uzumaki man loudly coughed, startling her.

He noisily dragged a chair towards the bed and sat on it before directing a glare at her.

"Er—I didn't get to present myself earlier," Naruto started in a small voice, wanting to make a better impression on her mom—her dad—her whatever _. I should really stop thinking about them like this,_  she wearily thought. Those were  _definitely_  not her people, after all.

But Kujin rudely cut her off, "I don't care, shut up. I don't have time for this shit, Minato is due any moment now. I'll go straight to the point: who the fuck are you?"

If glares could kill, Naruto was sure that she would already be attending her own funeral. She knew this Uzumaki wasn't the Kushina who had loved her unconditionally, and she knew therefore she shouldn't feel hurt by the hostility. But damn, it wasn't easy. If this was what everybody would be like – Hiruzen who had been like a grandfather, Jiraiya who had been her mentor, Kakashi who had been her lover – then she'd better get used to it.

Still, she averted her eyes from the man, feeling nervous. "A childhood acquaintance of Minato's. Our parents arranged our union when we were younger – it was made void when they died, but we met up again a few years ago and—well, let's say that the rest is history." She patted her belly for emphasis, feeling a bit dirty for using her child this way.

Kujin's stare became harder, not moved one bit. "Because you want me to believe  _Minato_  – whom I've known for fifteen years – fell in love with you?  _Minato_  – who has never shown any interest in women or sex and hates Kumo more than Iwa?"

Narrowing her eyes, Naruto shrugged. "Maybe he didn't show interest because he already had me, and maybe he doesn't hate Kumo as much as you think." She then smiled sweetly, a lot like Minato did, and said, "or maybe you just don't know your friend very well."

"You little bitch," Kujin hissed, leaning towards her. Naruto didn't recoil but felt her heartbeat speed. Like this, lips folded over white teeth and eyes glaring daggers at her, the Uzumaki looked like he was channeling his caged fox's anger. Maybe this Kujin had much more control over Kurama than Kushina did – or maybe he was just much more feral than her mom. You know – testosterone and all that crap.

"You know what I think?" he said, voice pitched so low that despite their noses almost touching, the blond had to strain to hear him, "I think that you're a little liar who somehow tricked Minato into this farce of a marriage. I don't know how you got him to fuck that child into you, but rest assured that I'll always be there, watching your every steps and waiting for you to stumble and reveal your true colors."

He leant back as light footsteps echoed in the empty corridors – a polite way for trained shinobi to announce their presence in public spaces frequented by civilians.

"He can be naïve and too forgiving," he continued with a sharp smirk, "but don't worry, it's not my case."

The door slid open and in Minato walked, nose buried in his new notes. He looked up and frowned when he took notice of Naruto's pale face and glaring blue eyes. Then he took a look at his grinning friend.

"Kujin." The tone was ominous, and Minato's eyebrow was already twitching. "What did you do?"

The redhead puffed his cheeks out, arms crossed. "Why are you always assuming I did something? I was just having a nice chat with wifey here, right Naruto-chan?"

He turned a blinding smile on the woman, hands coming up to cup his cheeks in what was supposed to be a cute way – but only ended up as awkward on the grown, rugged-looking man. If she didn't know better, Naruto would've thought him genuine. Instead, he gave her the creeps and she felt slightly intimidated by the complete 180° personality change.

Was it schizophrenia?  _Huh, mom was quite the bipolar, too_ … But then, were schizophrenic ninja admitted within the ranks?

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the annoying high pitch of Kujin's moans as he bickered with Minato. She tuned in on their conversation, curious.

"They're a bunch of brats, that's what they are," the redhead complained, kicking his feet against his chair, petulant.

"Then you should've had no problem getting along with them," was Minato's distracted reply as he went over the scroll Kujin had handed him.

"And Kakashi – that little shit!" Kujin suddenly snarled, gripping his hair as if he was about to tear them out. "Ugh, I thought that Chidori would go right through my chest! What do you teach them, dude? They're monsters!" Then he sighed and twirled a red lock around his forefinger. "Fortunately, that cute Rin was there to tend to my wounds."

At that, Minato looked up from the report, looking at his friend with undisguised disdain. "You're disgusting. She's thirteen."

"A nine year difference is easily overcome. True lust always prevails!"

"Trash," Minato muttered as he shook his head, going back to the report.

"Don't be so prudish, you have no room to talk! You impregnated a kid."

Naruto had been watching the verbal match with fascination – until she was thrown into it. Blushing furiously, she glared darkly at the smug redhead. "Hey! I'm not a kid!"

He gave her a blatant once over and Minato slapped the back of his head – hard. Thankfully, he grew used to these slaps and didn't even flinch as the sound resonated in the room, absentmindedly rubbing at his sore skull.

"You look like you're not even fourteen," Kujin stated, still ogling her.

It was Minato's turn to look at her speculatively before he shrugged apologetically. "You do."

"I'm nineteen!"

"She does have the boobs of a grown woman…" Kujin muttered, eyes now glued to the blond's large bosom.

"I'm pregnant, you ass!" she screeched, doing her best to cover her breasts.

Minato hummed, pleased. "They filled out quite a bit since I got to her. That's good. The baby will have plenty to feed on."

"You too, eh," the other man said, nudging at his oblivious friend. He sighed when Minato blinked in confusion. "Nevermind."

But Naruto wasn't as clueless. Furious, she struggled under her sheets and with a strength born from sheer disgust, she flung herself at the redhead, going straight for his throat. Kujin met her hands with his own larger ones, and they both tried to overpower the other, arms shaking and veins popping on their forehead.

The man growled, eyes narrowed into slits. "Why, ya little—" He cut himself off, not wanting to insult her in front of his friend.

Naruto didn't have such qualms. "You shitty pig," she hissed.

All the while, Minato looked on with a slight smile. It sure reminded him of the early days of his friendship with the foreign Uzushio ninja. They, too, had thrown punches at each other's faces, only to later sit at a table overflowing with food after they'd helped bandage each other's wounds.

He had worried a bit about Naruto not making friends because of her Kumo roots, and had put all his hopes in Kujin being his welcoming, cheery self. Once again, his friend didn't let him down.

"It's heartening to see you two becoming such quick friends!"

This prompted the two fighting adults to turn their heads towards him only to yell, "We're not friends!" before returning to their battle of will. Minato ruefully shook his head and went to sit at the window, still going over Kujin's report on his team's progress.

Yep. Exactly like the good old days.

 

_To be continued…_

 

**OMAKE**

 

 

Looking glumly into his half-filled cup of tea, Minato sighed. It had been a long day, and he just wanted to relax before going home to think about a new strategy for his next ANBU mission, as well as a lesson plan for his Genin to follow during his absence.

For once, Kujin was silently eating his dumplings, too aware of his friend's exhaustion. They were content to just grab lunch in each other's company, sometimes exchanging words about the array of food spread in front of them.

Kujin was about to hail the chief for a new round of grilled meat when a flash of light caught his attention. It was immediate – his mood soured and exasperation was written all over his face.

A new gaggle of fangirls were peeping on them.

Or, more specifically, on the oblivious blonde shinobi.

With a sigh, Kujin leant towards his friend, long crimson hair falling from his shoulder onto Minato's, effectively blocking the sight of his barely moving lips as he whispered, "Brace yourself, a group of girls are ready to come at you."

Tan fingers clenched around the teacup, the only sign of annoyance betraying the blonde's aloof expression. Deeming his duty fulfilled, Kujin was about to go back to his food but Minato caught his elbow and tugged the redhead back towards him.

"Say, I'm a good friend, right?"

The Uzumaki rose an eyebrow. "Yeah," he drawled, confused, stretching a hand to grab a dango stick.

"And how far are you ready to go for the wellbeing of this friendship?"

At that, Kujin turned his head towards Minato's, almost bashing his nose against the blonde's sharp jaw.

"I love you bro, really. But not enough to murder a civilian." He popped the first dango in his mouth and then amended with a careless shrug, "not in plain day light, anyway."

This earned him an arched eyebrow, followed by a pleased hum. It was always good to know your friends had your back.

"You're nuts," Minato said nonetheless. "But I'm not asking you to kill the fangirls. Just… pretend to kiss me. That way, they'll think I'm not interested in the female population and will leave me alone at once."

He knew it was an awkward request, and truth be told, Minato was expecting an extreme reaction – something like Kujin falling from his seat in surprise and yelling how his lips were only made to be touched by big-breasted kunoichi.

Instead, the redhead blankly stared at him, the wooden spike from his dango dangling between his lips. "Dude," he started thoughtfully, twirling the stick with his tongue before removing it and pointing it at his friend, "are you in love with me or something?"

There was a long silence before Minato felt the tell-tale pulse of a vein ready to burst at his temple. "Forget about it, I suddenly feel the intense urge to punch your teeth in."

Kujin smirked, threw an arm around Minato's shoulders and brought their faces closer, noses brushing together. "Ooh, so kinky Minato-chan. Do tell me more."

Two tanned hands surged up and grabbed the Uzumaki's collar. "I'm gonna ram a Rasengan up your ass, you little—"

The other man knocked their mouths together, biting the blonde's lips in retaliation for the mean words. Minato froze, and at the same moment, wails and cries of shock were heard from their peeping toms.

Then Kujin leant back, a roguish smile firmly in place before he stuck his tongue at the fangirls while giving them the finger. Many ran away with tears in their eyes.

With a proud huff, he turned towards his friend, "No need to thank me Minato, you can now eat in pea—"

A punch met his cheek, and he tumbled to the floor as Minato slowly sat back down, left eyebrow ticking without control and hands clenching sporadically around his now cold cup. Kujin crawled back onto his chair, an affronted scowl firmly set on his face, ready to break the blonde's nose. "The fuck, man! I totally did what you asked me, and this is the thanks I get?!"

A dark glare quailed any further complain from a now pouting Kujin.

"Pretend," Minato hissed. "I said 'pretend', idiot. I can't believe you actually kissed me."

The pout didn't relent as the redhead puffed out his cheeks, petulant. "Pssh, why pretend when you can have the real deal! At least, now, they'll leave you alone. Ya know, back in Uzushio, kissing on the lips is a common way to greet close friends!"

And Kujin went back to his pastries and meat, babbling about culture differences and how weird people from the continent were with public display of affection, while Minato brooded about idiotic friends, ruing the day he finally took pity on his fellow exiled and showed him sympathy when they were kids.

The next day, the rumor went about that Kujin had been seen molesting a distressed Minato, and that the two were in an abusive relationship – though it wasn't sure who was the abused one.

Minato swore it was the last time he'd ask Kujin for a favor, and doubled his effort to not be caught in the company of the red leech. Kujin, on his part, found it hilarious and privately decided that fueling the rumor mill was a fun way to pass time between missions.

Two months later, Jiraiya's book featuring two dashing shinobi fighting for dominance in their coupling became a best seller.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (And so this signed the day the two exiled began to be seen by a certain writer as potent inspiration for his trash books. Yes, Jiraiya, in this universe, writes yaoi porn based on his student and his BFF.)
> 
> Sorry for the long wait, people! Got caught up in: sickness; work; job search; studies; new anime/manga (FUCK, SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN RUINED ME. GO READ/WATCH IT IF IT'S NOT ALREADY DONE!!!!)...  
> Thanks for being so precious and awesome!!!

**Author's Note:**

> English isn’t my first language – sorry for any remaining mistakes!  
> You can find me on tumblr at drblueneck.tumblr.com ;)


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